


Songs From a Firefly

by toxic_corn



Category: Firefly
Genre: Kid Fic, Original Character(s), Original Character-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-23
Updated: 2006-10-03
Packaged: 2018-09-15 11:02:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 33,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9231986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toxic_corn/pseuds/toxic_corn
Summary: A series of snapshots in the lives of the second generation of Firefly's crew, with a focus on Jayne and River's children.  Can be considered a sequel to the She's a Sticky-Fingered Filcher/Where in the 'Verse is River Tam? series(eseses?).





	1. #1 Crush

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the Raynekid fic that was supposed to stay one story. But I keep getting attacked by plot bunnies, so now it'll be a series. Ugh. Evil. All blame goes to [](http://katsqueaks.livejournal.com/profile)[katsqueaks](http://katsqueaks.livejournal.com/) for this one.

“Now, once you got ‘em all unloaded, remember you gotta stash ‘em. No runnin’ off to play constellation tag, dong ma?

 

“Aw, Cap, that was forever ago. Why ya still gotta hold it against us?”

 

“Cuz I’m the Captain, that’s why. Be careful, you almost smashed Vee’s fingers!” Mal nearly leaped up from his spot on the catwalk but two things stopped him: one, his back wasn’t what it used to be and two, he would’ve upended little Anna Tam and sent her _SPLAT_ to the cargo bay floor.

 

He watched as the children of Serenity, not really children anymore, unloaded crate after crate from the new-improved mule. It almost made him sad to see the children he’d watched grow up do the work that was usually reserved for him and Jayne and Zoe. But then he remembered those crates were damn heavy.

 

Besides, for some crazy reason, the kids liked the work. Lady, Zoe’s oldest, took on the leadership role well and the kids usually followed her with minimal fussing. Jayne’s boy, Jamey, was built just like his pa and didn’t object to physical labor, though he did prefer working in the engine room. He’d inherited River’s sense of curiosity and her even temper, which made his attitude today even more weird.

 

Jamey had been scowling since breakfast and was now tossing crates down so hard that it was only a matter of time until Vee Washburne really did lose some fingers. The other kids were warily avoiding him, all except Jamey’s baby sister, Nettie.

 

“Ooof!” Nettie dropped her end of a crate. “I’m sorry, David, it’s too heavy for me!”

 

“’Sokay,” David Tam squeaked, arms shaking as he still held onto his end.

 

Nettie called over to her brother, “Jamey? D’ya think ya can get this crate for me? It’s too heavy!”

 

“David, just set it down!” Mal called out as the veins started to pop out of the boy’s neck.

 

From under Mal’s arm, Anna giggled at her big brother.

 

“Jamey? Please?”

 

Mal frowned. The boy seemed to be ignoring his sister and he was about to order the boy to go help when Jamey angrily dropped the crate he was holding (making Vee squawk in protest) and stomped over to his sister.

 

“Move.” He shoved her aside and glared at David. “Lift.” The boys lifted the crate with little difficulty and set it on the ground.

 

“Thanks, Jamey,” Nettie said, sarcastically. “You didn’t have to be such a pig!”

 

“I helped ya, didn’t I?” Jamey snapped back.

 

“Yeah, after ya nearly knocked me over!”

 

“I didn’t knock ya over, I just pushed ya a little!”

 

“That’s why I said ‘nearly,’ jackass!”

 

“Enough!” Lady stepped in between the feuding siblings, looking angry. “Fight later, we still have work to do.”

 

Nettie’s clenched fists relaxed. “Okay.”

 

“Are we even sure Nettie can handle anymore?” Jamey asked, poisonously. “That last crate wasn’t that heavy.”

 

“Jamey,” Lady said, warningly.

 

Nettie’s face turned bright red. “I can handle it.”

 

“Oh, really? Cuz I think ya can’t. Maybe you should run along and go write in your diary ‘bout how much you love Cap.”

 

A horrible silence fell over the group. Then Nettie’s face crumbled and she ran to the passenger dorms, sobbing.

 

Her exit triggered everyone else’s response.

 

“Didn’t I tell you to stop?!” Lady exclaimed.

 

“I’m tellin’,” Anna announced and ran away bellowing, “ _UNCLE JAYYYYNNNE_!”

 

Vee ran up and kicked Jamey in the ass and was gearing up for another when David and her brother Ben leaped over crates to hold her back before she could inflict any more damage.

For the first time in his career, Mal had no idea what to do.

 

~*~

 

Kaylee and River were bustling around the kitchen trying to get dinner ready but were hampered by a certain ex-mercenary.

 

“Jayne, you’re gettin’ underfoot,” Kaylee gently chided him.

 

Jayne had his arms slung around River’s waist, face pressed into her neck, so his response was slightly muffled.

 

“Can’t help it if I got a pretty little wife who smells good.”

 

Smiling, Kaylee gently swatted him on the shoulder with a big wooden spoon. “Save it for your bunk.”

 

River giggled when Jayne looked up at Kaylee to frown. “We ain’t doin’ anything unseemly.”

 

“Yet,” Kaylee added, making Jayne grin wolfishly.

 

“ _UNCLE JAYYYYNNNE_!”

 

All three adults snapped to attention when Anna barreled into the mess, gasping for breath.

 

“What is it, is someone hurt?” Kaylee exclaimed.

 

Anna shook her head. “Uncle Jayne, you know what Jamey did?!”

 

Kaylee groaned. “Annabelle River Tam, what’d I tell ya ‘bout tattling?”

 

“What’d he do?” Jayne demanded, releasing River.

 

“He made Nettie cry!” Anna’s eyes were wide with outrage. “For no good reason a’tall!” Anna turned to her mother. “Daddy said it isn’t tattling to tell a grown up when someone’s hurt. And Nettie’s hurt.”

 

“Well, let’s go take care o’ this, then.” Jayne scooped Anna up and set her on his hip, though she was getting kinda big to be picked up. “I’ll be right back,” he told River.

 

When he got to the cargo bay, he saw with little surprise that David and Ben were having a hard time holding Vee back as she railed against Jamey, who was looking mighty ashamed of himself. Lady was doing her best to calm her hot-headed little sister while Nova Tam stood aside watching the proceedings with amazement.

 

Much like Mal was.

 

“Nice job overseein’ things, Mal,” Jayne snarled. “WHAT THE SAM HELL IS GOIN’ ON HERE?!”

 

The kids fell silent. Vee stopped struggling and gave Jamey a smug _you’re gonna get it now_ look.

 

Jayne fixed Jamey with his angry stare. “You make your sister cry?”

 

“Yes, sir,” Jamey mumbled.

 

“She don’t cry easy; what the hell’d ya do to her?”

 

Jamey turned pink and Mal coughed while everyone else suddenly became fascinated by their boot tops.

 

“Uncle Jayne?” Anna said, quietly. “Jamey, he… he said…” The little girl whispered in his ear and Jayne felt himself grow a hell of a lot angrier.

 

“Izzat true, James?” Jayne snapped.

 

“Dunno, couldn’t hear her whisperin’ from here.”

 

“ _What’d you say to me, boy?_ ”

 

Jamey straightened up and looked Jayne in the eye. “I said, ‘yessir, it’s true.’”

 

“What’d ya have to say fer yerself?”

 

“I’m a jackass, sir.”

 

“I’ll say ya are. You know, you ain’t too big to take over my knee!”

 

“No, sir.”

 

A gentle hand pressed into Jayne’s back and he relaxed, looking over his shoulder to find River.

 

“Hey, baby girl. Ya know what yer son did?”

 

“I do.”

 

“So what’s his punishment gonna be?”

 

She looked at Jamey for a long moment while the boy squirmed. Couldn’t blame him; River’s punishments were the worst. Or the best, from Jayne’s perspective. The punishment always fit the crime and the kids knew not to make the same mistake again. There was that genius brain at work.

 

River finally made her decision. “Go make things right with Nettie. Tell her you’re sorry.”

 

Jamey’s eyes bulged. “I can’t go in there _now_! She’ll kill me! I’ll… I’ll finish unloadin’ these boxes and stashin’ ‘em away all by myself! And I’ll go without supper!”

 

River’s eyes narrowed. “You want to perform manual labor while I go comfort your sister?”

 

Jayne winced as Jamey made the realization he’d said the wrong thing.

 

“Well, uh…”

 

“Did _I_ make Nettie cry?!”

 

“Nome.” Jamey’s shoulders sagged.

 

“Did your father make Nettie cry?!”

 

“Nome.” The boy looked really miserable now. Jayne yelling was one thing but River yelling was devastating. She was usually the most even tempered and she and Jamey had a special bond so that it actually hurt him to disappoint her and have her discipline him.

 

Sensing Jamey’s distress, River gentled her tone while remaining firm. “You’re always asking us to treat you more like an adult, James. Well, part of being an adult is fixing your mistakes. You can’t always expect Pa or me to be there to smooth things over. Do you understand?”

 

Jamey nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”

 

River pointed towards the former passenger dorms, now children’s rooms. “Then go.”

 

Jayne watched Jamey slink away, wondering vaguely if this would be the last time he’d ever see his son. Eh, he was sixteen, he could survive a run-in with an angry little girl, even if she _was_ Nettie.

 

“Damn, baby doll, I love when you’re the disciplinarian!”

 

~*~

 

Jamey stood outside Nettie’s door for a good minute and a half. How the hell had he gotten into this situation? He thought back on the events before breakfast and scowled.

 

He’d finally gotten together his nerve and asked Lady if she wanted to maybe do something after the job today.

 

_I don’t think that’d be a good idea, Jamey._

 

When he’d asked her why not, she’d hesitated then said that they worked together. What the hell did that have to do with anything?

 

_I just don’t… see you that way. I’m sorry, Jamey._

 

Seven hours later, he passed his hurt feelings on to his little sister, the one person in the ‘verse it was his responsibility to protect.

 

And he could hear her sobbing into her pillow. Some protector _he_ was.

 

Tentatively, Jamey knocked on the doorframe. “Nettie? Can I come in?”

 

“No! You’re ruined my _life_!” Her voice broke and Jamey rested his forehead against the wall.

 

“Nettie? Please can I talk to ya?”

 

There was a long pause and then some snuffling. “M’kay.”

 

He had the door open and one foot in the room when the complete stories of Hans Christian Andersen smacked him square in the face.

 

“ _Ta ma de!_ ” Jamey shrieked and clutched his nose.

 

“Read _that_ and not my diary next time, you dog humpin’ puke!” With that, Nettie dove under the covers and continued her crying.

 

“But I…” _I didn’t read your diary_ , he wanted to say. Hell, he hadn’t even known that she’d had a diary. But if he told her that, he’d be letting her know that her “secret” crush on Cap wasn’t all that secret and that would just upset her more. He couldn’t do that, even if it let him off the hook.

 

“You’re right, Nettie. I’m sorry.” He gingerly tested his nose to see if it was broken. Nope. Just bleeding. He stopped it up with the sleeve of his canvas coat.

 

“Why?” Nettie’s quivery question threw him off.

 

“Uh. Cuz I was wrong and upset you?”

 

“No, I mean, why’d you read my diary? Why would you invade my privacy like that? How did you even find it?” Her voice rose with each question.

 

Uh oh. Jamey thought fast.

 

“Um, I found it while I was… cleanin’. And uh, I just started readin’ and… you’re a real good writer, Nettie.”

 

Nettie rolled over, bloodshot blue eyes all big. “I am?”

 

“Yeah.” Jamey took a shot in the dark. “You should sing those songs you wrote. Those secret ones. I bet they’d be real pretty.”

 

“I can’t now,” Nettie said while shaking her head. “Everyone would know they were about Cap.”

 

Jamey waved this off. “Nah, just say they’re about Ma and Pop.” He took a few steps closer and when Nettie scooched over a little, he sat down on the edge of her bed. “I really am sorry, Nettie. I didn’t mean to be such a _hundan_.”

 

She sighed, hugging her pink stuffed platypus to her chest. “I know.” But then she scowled. “I still hate you, though.”

 

Jamey rolled his eyes.

 

Just then, Ma’s voice came on the com. “Dinner’s ready, you two.”

 

While Jamey hopped up, Nettie burrowed under her covers. He furrowed his brow and poked her shoulder.

 

“Nettie? Dinner, didn’tcha hear?”

 

“I can’t,” her voice shook. “I can’t face _him_ just yet.”

 

Oh, yeah. Jamey rubbed the back of his neck. “Want me to bring you somethin’?”

 

“Yes, please.”

 

“Okay.” He paused on the way out. “Still hate me?”

 

“Yes. But not as much.”

 

“Just checkin’.”

 

~*~

 

She had absolutely no intention of leaving her room _ever_ again. Maybe Uncle Simon could give her her lessons through the door. And Jamey, that stupid fathead, could keep bringing her meals. The only problem she could see was the bathroom. Maybe if she held it all day and went at night when everyone was asleep…

 

Groaning in frustration, Nettie buried her hot face in Schneebly’s comforting pink fur. Sometimes if she really concentrated, she could still smell Haven.

 

The door slid open and Nettie sat up. “What did Mom mak-"

 

Instead of Jamey bringing her dinner, there was Malcolm Reynolds standing there holding two plates loaded with food.

 

Nettie yelped and pulled the covers over her head.

 

“Hey now, I may not be a fancy Core-bred gentleman, but I know my company ain’t as frightful as all that.”

 

The tears sprang to her eyes. Oh god, he was going to treat this like a big joke.

 

“Please go away, Cap. I’m not hungry.” So of course, her traitorous stomach chose that instant to growl.

 

“Come on, Serenity Jane. Your ma and Aunt Kaylee made some good vittles here.”

 

His soft tone successfully lured her out of hiding. She sat up and accepted her plate, self-conscious of her puffy eyes and unraveling braids.

 

Cap sat down on the edge of the bed and started talking about the job that day, and how Daddy had had to help pack the crates away when she and Jamey the Fathead had left the room. The small talk helped her relax a little and she was able to smile when Cap imitated Daddy’s voice perfectly.

 

They were just finishing off their last bites when Cap said, “I had no idea you felt that way about me, Nettie. It’s real flattering.”

 

Nettie pushed a bit of protein around her plate with her fork. “But I’m just a little girl and I need to move on to someone my own age, right?”

 

Cap took hold of her chin and raised her head to look into his eyes. “No. Your feelin’s are your feelin’s. It ain’t my place to tell ya who to have a crush on, Serenity.” He smiled and it looked a little sad. “Maybe if I’m lucky and you’re all grown up, you’ll still feel the same way.”

 

Nettie’s mouth fell open. She’d be eighteen in six years; that was grown up, right?!

 

Smiling, Cap took her plate and stacked it on top of his. “Whaddya say we go on up to the mess? Your pa wanted to start up a game of Tall Card. Maybe we can beat that wiseass brother o’ yours.”

 

Taking Cap’s offered hand, Nettie wasn’t so sure she hated Jamey anymore.


	2. Cowboy Take Me Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jayne's got a plan to keep his family together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should've stated before that this series is non-linear. The tracks are in the order my brain pops the story ideas into my head. Just thought I'd warn anyone so they wouldn't read this and think, "Wait, weren't they 12 and 16 not that long ago?" Thanks to [](http://katsqueaks.livejournal.com/profile)[katsqueaks](http://katsqueaks.livejournal.com/) for being a super beta.

**Jamey is 9 and Nettie is 5**

 

_“I’ll be seein’ all you Cobbs later, then!”_

 

Mal’s parting words rang in Jayne’s ears as he walked the narrow little country lane towards home. Well, not walking, exactly. More like jogging.

 

He was always excited to come home but now, after today, the sight of the house where his wife and kids were had him sprinting with a big grin on his face.

 

~*~

 

“What’s zat one, Ma?”

 

“That’s a potato bug, also known as the _Stenopelmatus_ , the Jerusalem cricket.”

 

Jamey scribbled this into his composition book, brow furrowed and his tongue poking out the corner of his mouth. “S-T-E…”

 

“Don’t worry about the spelling now, I’ll check it for you later.” Mommy turned over a leaf to inspect the other side for other insects for Jamey to record.

 

Nettie squirmed in her mother’s lap. “Mommy, that’s not a potato bug.”

 

“Hm?”

 

“You’re going to make Jamey get an F.”

 

Jamey stopped his scribbling and looked from Nettie to Mommy with a worried look on his face.

 

“That yucky bug with the face isn’t a potato bug,” Nettie explained. She got up out of Mommy’s lap and turned over a large rock nearby, making the insects underneath scramble around in a panic. “Daddy told me that _these_ were potato bugs.”

 

Mommy nodded. “They are.”

 

The children stared at her.

 

“The two species share the same nickname, but aren’t the same. Like our Jamey and Jaime Turner,” Mommy said, naming a girl from Jamey’s class.

 

Nettie giggled and sing songed, “Jamey likes Jaime, Jamey likes Jaime!”

 

“Do not,” Jamey said, turning pink. “She smells like old cheese.” He nodded his head at the insects Nettie had revealed. “So what are those called?”

 

“Woodlice. _Armadillidium vulgare_.”

 

“Daddy called them roly polies.” Nettie frowned.

 

“And Daddy is correct. Close their door, Nettie Jane, you’re frightening them.”

 

Nettie carefully set the rock back into place then went back to cuddling in Mommy’s warm lap.

 

“D-I-L-L-I…” Jamey muttered, scribbling away.

 

They continued on, Jamey pointing out insects and Mommy naming them while Nettie grew more and more bored. She found herself glaring at the potato bug/Jerusalem cricket lurking in the darker shadows of the garden. Stupid yucky bug, trying to take the roly poly’s name. A sudden idea made her face light up.

 

“Hey Jamey, I dare ya to eat the potato bug!” She pointed at the insect.

 

Jamey glanced up from his homework briefly as he wrote down his last bug. “You do it first.”

 

“No, I dared _you_.”

 

“Well, I ain’t doin’ it.”

 

She pouted for a moment, then asked, “What if I put sugar on it?”

 

That stopped his writing. “What the- how’d that help?!”

 

Nettie started to giggle. “I dunno…”

 

Her giggles were contagious and soon Jamey and Mommy had caught them.

 

Suddenly, a loud voice boomed, “ _Woman, why you got my kids rollin’ in dirt_?!”

 

~*~

 

Jayne had been worried when he wasn’t greeted at the gate. Usually, River could sense when he was home and he’d barely be in the yard before he got an armful of Jamey and Nettie.

 

His concern grew when he didn’t find anyone in the house. Ma hadn’t told him anything bad had happened when he’d been at his folks’ place earlier…

 

Then he’d heard the giggles from outside and through the window he saw River and their babies playing in the garden. The relief he felt made his hands shake.

 

_Hey, you’re never gonna have to worry about them all alone ever again._ The thought brought a smile to his face as he threw open the backdoor and dashed down the path.

 

Unable to resist, he boomed, “ _Woman, why you got my kids rollin’ in dirt_?!”

 

They all jumped in surprise and then beamed at him so’s he couldn’t keep on his fake scowl for very long. The kids leaped up and ran at him.

 

“Daddy!!” Nettie got to him first and jumped into his arms. “I missed you.”

 

Jayne nuzzled a kiss into Nettie’s temple. “Missed you too, little bit.” He buried his face in her long, curly hair and took a deep breath, smelling the baby shampoo she used.

 

Jamey wrapped his arms as best he could around Jayne’s middle and squeezed. “Hiya, Pop.”

 

“Hiya, son.” Jayne ran the hand not supporting Nettie through Jamey’s unruly curls. “Looks like you could use a haircut, boy.”

 

Nettie gasped in horror. “Uh uh! Jamey’s hair is _pretty_!”

 

Jamey made a strangled sound and gave Nettie’s knee a poke.

 

“Hello, Daddy.” River had followed after the children quietly and now stood before him, eyes shiny and pink sundress grass stained.

 

She looked gorgeous.

 

Jayne carefully set Nettie on her feet and opened his arms wide for his wife.

 

“Hi, baby girl.”

 

She stepped close and wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on tiptoe to give him a lingering kiss.

 

“C’mon Nettie, let’s go inside; they’re bein’ all kissy.”

 

“But I _like_ when they’re all kissy…”

 

Jayne chuckled but didn’t come up for air until a few more moments had passed. And even then, it was real reluctantly.

 

“I miss you when you’re gone,” River said, softly, cupping his cheek. “Days and nights pass so slowly without my Jayne.”

 

He rubbed his face against her smooth hand and rumbled, “What if I toldja I had me a plan to keep us together longer?”

 

~*~

 

Jamey had never seen his father look so excited; he was practically buzzing. Mommy was smiling, so whatever news Pop had called this family meeting to share had to be really good.

 

“Everybody’s been talkin’ ‘bout how much they miss their littluns when we leave ‘em planetside. So’s I got an idea where we leave the kids on Haven year round.”

 

“Haven?” Nettie interrupted. “You mean where Shepherd Book lives?”

 

“Yup, that’s the one.” Pop nodded. “Think about it; Haven’s our usual stopping place so we’ll be able to see the kids every three weeks or so between jobs. Shepherd even set up a school so’s they can still get their learnin’ and they’ll get to spend more time together than the usual Christmas gatherin’.”

 

Nettie squealed, “I like cousin Nova, she’s funny!”

 

“No she ain’t, she’s serious ‘bout everything,” Jamey said. “I don’t think she’d know a joke if it bit her.”

 

“That’s why she’s funny.”

 

Pop clapped his hands together. “So! Whaddya think?”

 

“Yay!” Nettie cheered as an answer.

 

Jamey frowned. “You said _we’d_ be able to see the kids. Does that mean,” he looked to Ma for confirmation, “you won’t be with us?”

 

Nettie’s grin fell and she turned stricken eyes toward Ma. “You won’t be with us, Mommy?”

 

“No, Nettie, I won’t,” Ma said, softly.

 

Nettie sniffled. “Are we bad? Do you not love us anymore?”

 

“Little bit, that’s not it a’tall!” Pop dropped to his knees in front of Nettie, taking her hands in his. “We love ya so much that-“

 

Angrily, Nettie ripped her hands out of Pop’s grasp. “I hate you! You’re always gone and now you’re taking our mommy away!” She jumped up and ran back outside where it was starting to get dark.

 

Jamey hadn’t much liked the idea either, even before the revelation of Ma being away, too. He’d have to leave his school and all his friends, and he’d miss all the Cobbs who were within walking distance.

 

But then he saw the heartbroken look on Pop’s face and knew that it was all meant for the best. Come to think of it, Pop _did_ spend more time on Haven than he did here. It would’ve made more sense for them to have settled there in the first place; they probably would have if Gramma Cobb hadn’t threatened to disown Pop if he deprived her of watching her grandbabies grow up.

 

“I better go see if…” Pop gestured to where Nettie disappeared and shambled off after her.

 

“Jamey?” Ma scooted over on the couch so she was right next to him. She started to stroke his hair, gently. “Is this okay with you?”

 

“I guess so, yeah.” He paused a moment. “Will you wave us everyday?”

 

“ _Every_ day,” Ma promised.

 

Jamey dropped his head to her shoulder and she drew her arm around him, kissing the top of his head.

 

“Shiny.”

 

~*~

 

Jayne picked his way through the yard to find Nettie in the garden, tossing rocks into the nearby forest.

 

“You’re gettin’ to throw real good,” Jayne said, softly.

 

“I’m mad at you.”

 

“I know.” He stood next to Nettie and watched the next rock she threw sail through the air and peg a tree with a satisfying _CONK_ sound. “Guess I was so excited at the idea of havin’ you so near, I forgot to think ‘bout how you’d feel losin’ your Ma.”

 

Nettie didn’t say anything but she paused in mid-throw.

 

“That was wrong o’ me and I’m sorry. Hell, you see her every day and…” He trailed off then sighed. “Thought I was gettin’ better but I guess I’m just as selfish as I always been.”

 

The rock Nettie had been holding fell to the ground. “You’re not selfish.” Her little hand curled around his. “Mommy says you spend all the time you wish you were with us out in the black so’s you can send money home to feed us.”

 

“Mommy’s right.”

 

Nettie was quiet for a long moment. Then she looked up at him with big, mournful blue eyes. “I’m sorry I said I hated you.”

 

Jayne swallowed with difficulty. “’Sokay, little bit. I understand.”

 

They stood there hand in hand for a little longer until Nettie suddenly squealed, “Look Daddy, the fireflies are out!”

 

So they spent the hour until bedtime chasing the bugs with no real intention of catching them.

 

~*~

 

Mal stood out on the ramp and took a deep breath of fresh air. Something about the air planetside made a body want to bottle it up and keep it forever.

 

Off in the distance, he could see figures approaching, pushing a big cart. Cupping his hands around his eyes, he grinned at who he saw.

 

“Permission to come aboard, Captain?” River called.

 

“Always, little witch,” Mal answered.

 

When the Cobb family were closer, Jayne said, “Sorry we got here so late, Mal. Jamey here had his last day o’ school and everyone wanted to say ‘bye ta him. And he needed to get his final grades.”

 

“Oh? How’d you clean up, Junior Cobb?”

 

“Four A’s and a B!” Nettie piped up, proudly.

 

Jamey grinned modestly.

 

“Good to hear you take after your ma, then,” Mal said, chucking Jamey playfully on the shoulder. “Well, Jayne, looks like you got the house packed up.” He indicated the cart Jayne had been pushing.

 

Jayne scowled at him then said, “We can’t leave just yet.”

 

Mal bristled. “And why not?”

 

“My Ma’s havin’ this big fare-thee-well dinner fer us. She invited ya but she’ll prolly take back the offer once she finds out you implied I was stupid.”

 

Mal was about to respond when Nettie interrupted, “So that’s a firefly?”

 

“You’ve been on the ship before, my Nettie,” River said, smiling.

 

“I know, but I didn’t know it was called a firefly before.” She squinted up at Serenity. “She kinda looks like a real firefly if you look at her a certain way.” She beamed up at her ma. “They share the same name, but aren’t the same!”

 

River and the girl giggled together like it meant something as the family brushed by Mal to settle their things in their bunks.

 

Mal huffed out a laugh and muttered, “Yep, no doubt who _her_ ma is.”


	3. I'll Be There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip to the market goes awry.

**Jamey is 12, Nettie is 8**

 

The school year had ended and after bidding farewell to Shepherd Book and Haven, they boarded Serenity for a summer full of adventure; shootin' and stealin' and just plain making trouble for the Alliance.

  
Shyeah, right.

  
Jamey scowled as he tugged Nettie along through the crowded marketplace. Cap was meeting with some contacts and had asked Aunt Kaylee and Inara to take the kids shopping. Pop had ordered Jamey not to let Nettie out of his sight for a second. And of course, Nettie only wanted to look at the girliest of the stalls and she'd start bellyaching if he spent more than ten seconds looking at anything that interested him. Plus, he had to keep up with the others and that was tough to do in the crush of the crowd.

  
No action and having to babysit his sister at some lousy marketplace. If he saw one more stuffed animal, he was going to spew.

Worst. Gorram summer. Ever.

"Look, Jamey! Kitties!" Nettie squealed.

A greasy looking teenage boy with puffy blonde curls sat in the dirt looking bored, a box of kittens in front of him. Nettie was already crouched down, petting a white one.

"No, Nettie," Jamey said firmly.

"No what?" Nettie was the very picture of innocence.

"You know Pop hates cats so don't go gettin' attached to one."

Nettie snorted. "I'm not getting attached, I'm just petting 'em. They're cuuute." She cooed at a little stripey one. "You should pet some, Jamey."

Jamey rolled his eyes and looked down into the box. The kittens were clambering over one another competing for Nettie's attention. Except for one little dark fluff that was getting trampled by the others.

Frowning, Jamey knelt down next to Nettie and gently shooed the kittens aside to pick up the little black one.

The kitten's blue eyes met Jamey's brown and they solemnly regarded one another for a long moment. Then the kitten's head tilted to the side as he politely inquired, "Mew?"

"How much?" Nettie asked in a hushed voice.

The teenager named a decent price that was only half of Jamey's allowance. But Jamey set the kitten back into the box, reluctantly.

"Wha- Jamey!" Nettie protested.

Jamey stood up and hauled Nettie to her feet. "We're not gettin' a cat. Let's go."

"But that cat was meant for you!" Nettie exclaimed.

"It don't matter; Pop won't let us have a cat." He nodded politely to the teenager who was looking surly over not making a sale. "Quit fussin' and let's go."

Pouting, Nettie allowed Jamey to tug her along. The group had gotten further ahead, all except Nova who was coming their way.

"Mama says to tell you to keep up," Nova said when she'd reached them. "She says funny people hang around these marketplaces looking for unattended children."

Jamey raised his eyebrows. "'Funny people'?"

"I think she means pedophiles," Nova said, all wide-eyed seriousness.

"What's a pedophile?" Nettie asked, looking up to Jamey.

"It's um… why don't you ask Ma later?" Jamey shifted uncomfortably and gave Nova a warning look that of course the girl missed.

"A pedophile is a person who is sexually attracted to children, either pubescent or at the beginning of puberty."

Jamey glared at his cousin. "Thanks for the definition, Nova."

"You're welcome," she said, blinking in surprise at his tone.

Nettie shrugged. "Daddy just calls 'em perverts." She was looking across the marketplace when she suddenly did a double take. "Jamey, does that lady have a turtle on a leash?!"

"Naw, it's just a very small…" He followed her gaze to the elderly woman in question. "… turtle."

The girls started to laugh and Jamey grinned, too.

"It must take a year to walk around the block," Nettie said through giggles.

"No one's gonna believe us when we tell 'em," Jamey said. "I'm gonna go ask Aunt Kaylee for her vid capture."

"Um, where'd they go?" Nova asked in a tiny voice.

The group had long since moved on without them.

"Oh, _go se_ ," Jamey groaned. "Can this day get any worse?"

"My, my, my what have we here? Little lambs wandered away from the herd?"

The kids turned as one to find an old man with rotting teeth wearing a bowler cap. He was flanked by goons. Armed goons.

"Yes, Jamey," Nettie hissed, "this day can get much worse!"

~*~

"Badger had to be kiddin' us with that cargo," Mal snorted, leading the way back onto the ship.

"I dunno, Mal, that was a lot o' coin he was offerin'," Jayne said.

Mal stopped and spun to face the merc. "Those stolen goods are all over the cortex; we don't need that kind o' heat. 'Specially now with all the kids on board."

"I know, I'm just sayin'! There's more of us to feed now and I just don't want my kids goin' hungry is all." Jayne frowned in worry. They were good kids and wouldn't complain about less food, but they were growin' and he didn't want any lack of vitamins to stunt their growth.

'Cept maybe Jamey. The boy was just a bit taller'n his ma and he was only twelve. He could stand to slow down some.

"Maybe we'll take it if he ups our pay," Mal said.

"You think he will, sir?" Zoe sounded doubtful.

"You never know."

Simon entered the cargo bay just then. "Oh, I heard voices and thought maybe Kaylee and the kids were back. How did your meeting go?" He took in their grim faces. "That bad, huh?"

"Don't you worry on it, doc," Mal said. "We'll find another job. A better one, even."

"Yeah, cuz those just drop out of the sky," Jayne muttered.

Up above, somebody squeaked and Jayne looked up just in time to see River topple from the catwalk.

" _Yeh-soo ta ma duh_ …!" he yelped and ran as fast as he could to where she was plummeting and caught her. "Riv baby, what…?"

Mal, Zoe, and Simon ran over, all of them talking at once.

"What the hell was that?!"

"Is she all right?"

"River, what happened?"

She was stiff as a board in his arms, eyes wide and terrified.

"Baby girl?" Jayne stroked her hair. "C'mon now, come back ta me."

"Doc, do somethin'," Mal snapped.

"I don't-"

"Jayne."

Everyone froze.

"Jayne," River whispered again. "Oh, Jayne. The children."

Jayne's blood ran cold. "Our children?"

"Hey all, we're back!" Kaylee's voice trilled. She lead the pack on board, carrying little Anna. "What's the matter?"

"Kaylee, you got all the kids with you?" Mal demanded.

Kaylee blinked. "Sure, Cap'n. I even sent Nova back when Jamey and Nettie were laggin' behind."

"Oh no," Inara whispered. She looked back over her shoulder and did a quick headcount. "They're missing."

"Who's missin'??" Jayne carried River over to the group. There was Anna. And David. And Lady holding Ben's hand. And Vee.

But no Jamey, Nettie, or Nova.

"Jayne, they're so scared." River shivered.

"How could this have happened?" Kaylee cried. "I swear they were right here!"

Jayne gently shook River. "Baby, do ya know where they are?"

River swallowed. "No. They're unfamiliar with their surroundings. Big, old buildings."

Mal frowned. "Sounds like the old warehouse district. They probably wandered away by accident; the crowds in the marketplace are hard to get through if you're not used to 'em." He straightened himself up. "Let's go find the kids."

"I'm gonna put you down now, Riv, okay?" Jayne carefully lowered River so she stood next to him. He held her face in his hands, forcing her to meet his eyes. "I promise you that when I come back, I'll have our babies with us."

"Hurry," River breathed. "He doesn't realize how rotten they are."

Jayne pressed a hard kiss to her lips and released her. He followed Mal and Simon down the ramp, hoping he'd be able to keep his promise.

~*~

"Didn't realize you were a kidnapper, Badger," Jamey said, keeping a firm grip on both Nettie and Nova.

"It's nothin' personal Master Cobb, just business. Turn left here."

Jamey wanted to take advantage of the crowd by making a break for it and disappearing in the crush. But Badger's men had guns trained on their backs and he didn't want to risk his sister's or his cousin's lives.

"You see," Badger continued, "you kiddies are a bit of incentive. If Malcolm Reynolds takes what I'm offerin' then you lot get to go free. But if he don't… well, I'm sure I can find some slavers who'd be more than happy to get their hands on three healthy children. Here we are!"

They all stopped in front of a cruddy old building that was a bit smaller than the other cruddy old buildings. The goons shoved the kids inside.

Jamey got a quick look at the office area before they were pushed into the backroom.

"Hope you don't mind waiting here for a bit. I got some other business to attend to before we can call your parents." Badger grinned broadly and slammed the door shut. They could hear the lock click.

"Oh, no problem at all," Jamey muttered.

The room was about the size of the med bay on Serenity and had a smallish window up towards the ceiling. Crates were stacked everywhere.

Nettie flopped down on one of them and heaved a sigh. "So what are going to do until Cap saves us?"

Jamey shrugged, sitting down beside her.

"I'm thinking of a number between one and a hundred," Nova said.

Beat.

"Forty-two?"

~*~

It didn't take long before the guessing game got boring. Jamey had to tell Nova twice to shut up before she finally did. Normally, Nettie would take up for Nova when the other kids got to picking on her for being so weird, but being locked in a room with her for an hour changed things a little.

The door finally opened and Badger's goons came in, one holding a tray of food and the other pointing a gun at them. Like three unarmed kids were such a huge threat.

"The boss thought you kids might be gettin' peckish," the goon holding the tray said. He grinned and revealed big, yellow, horsey teeth. "Are you hungry?"

His grin made shivers run down Nettie's spine. She slid a little closer to Jamey and took her cue from him, remaining silent.

"Whatsa matter? Didn't your folks teach ya any manners?" The goon set the tray on the floor. "I'll just stomp all this nice food if none o' you is hungry."

"Jason, gorramit, let's just leave it 'n go," the gun-toting goon growled.

"No. Listen, brats: If you're hungry, speak up." Jason lifted a booted foot over the tray of cheese and crackers. "Speak up or it all goes squish!"

"I'm hungry!" Nova squeaked.

Nettie and Jamey winced.

A predatory grin spread across Jason's face. "What zat, lovely? Did you say something, precious?"

 _Nova, for once, DON'T SAY ANYTHING_ , Nettie thought and grabbed Jamey's hand. He squeezed her hand and kept his face carefully blank.

"I- I said I was hungry," Nova whispered. Her eyes were wide with fear.

Jason lowered his foot to the ground and walked over to Nova, hunkering down in front of her. She recoiled.

The goon holding the gun looked uneasy. "Jason, what're ya doin'? C'mon, let's go!"

But Jason didn't seem to hear. "What's your name, little miss?"

Nova seemed to have received Nettie's message and kept her mouth shut.

"Aw, c'mon. Don't be shy. What'd your mommy and daddy name ya?" He ran a finger down her cheek and beamed as Nova shuddered in revulsion.

Nettie opened her mouth but Jamey beat her to speaking up. "You stop it!"

Jason's head snapped around. He snarled, "What're ya gonna do, ya little pup?!"

"Don't. You. Touch her." Jamey's voice was low and dangerous and Nettie had never heard him sound that way before.

Jason rose to his feet and came over to them. "You'd rather I touch _her_?" He nodded to Nettie and she flinched against her will.

"Do it and you're dead."

Jason chuckled and then his fist lashed out, catching Jamey in the mouth. Jamey rocked backwards, blood spurting from his mouth.

"Gorramit, Jason!" The other goon grabbed Jason's arm and dragged him from the room. "What the ruttin' hell was that??"

"Not so tough now, are ya kid?" Jason called as the door slammed and locked behind him.

Nettie stared at Jamey in shock as he dabbed at his split lip.

"Did he knock out your teeth?" Nettie was surprised at how shrill she sounded.

Jamey kept his fist pressed to his mouth, tears in his eyes. "Naw, they're not even loose, the sucker-punchin' pansy. You okay, Nova?"

No, she wasn't. She was shaking harder than the time Vee had found a little sand snake and started swinging it around until she had dropped it in Nova'sr lap.

"Yes. Yes, I'm fine." Nova looked at the tray on the ground. "I don't think I'm hungry anymore." Her voice cracked.

Snarling, Jamey jumped up and started kicking one of the crates until it was lined up against the wall.

"What are you doing?" Nettie cried. When had her voice gotten so high?

Jamey looked around the room and up at the little window. He grinned. "We're gettin' out of here. Help me move these gorram crates."

It took some coaxing, but Nettie got Nova up out of her shock and the girls would take one end of a crate and Jamey the other and started stacking them under the window. The work was hard and heavy, especially when the stack got higher.

They wordlessly agreed to take a break and sagged to the floor.

"Why the hell are these so heavy?" Jamey panted.

"They must be transporting lead or something," Nettie grumbled.

"Doubtful. Maybe spare ship parts." Even now, Nova had to be a know-it-all. But Nettie didn't mind and rubbed a soothing circle on her cousin's back.

"Let's go to it," Jamey said after a few more minutes. "I don't know when they'll be back and this should be the last one." He grabbed the end of a crate. "Ready? Lift! Up! More up! It- Hey, watch it!"

Nettie's hands were slippery with sweat and she lost her grip. The crate _CLANGED_ to the floor and exploded open, spraying gold coins everywhere.

"Son of a bitch!" Jamey exclaimed. "Is that what I think it is?!"

Nova's jaw dropped. "Barbosa's gold!"

"You mean the coin collection from Earth-That-Was that got stolen?" Nettie stared at the gold pieces, wide-eyed.

"No wonder Cap didn't want anything to do with this. The Alliance is lookin' all over for it." Jamey looked stunned.

From outside the door came shouting.

"What the hell're they doin' in there?!"

"No, you stay here, you terrorized those kids enough for one day."

"Shit, they're comin'." Jamey grabbed Nettie and shoved her at the crates. "Get up there; I'll give ya a boost." He laced his hands together and Nettie stepped up and was propelled upwards.

Nova joined her soon after and they were able to get the window up before the door opened.

"Badger, they're gettin' away!" one of the goons shouted.

"Well, _stop them_!"

The goon made for Jamey, who was starting to climb up the crates.

"Jamey, come on!" Nettie cried.

"Go!" Jamey ordered, hopping down and ducking away from the goon, leading him away from the stack.

"Not without you!"

" _Gorramit girl, I SAID GO_!" The fierce look he threw her way was so like Daddy's that she gasped and did as she was told.

Nova looked out the window. "There's a dumpster right below us we should aim for. Here's hoping they didn't throw glass away." She crouched in the window frame and hopped out with a yelp.

Nettie was about to follow when a hand closed around her ankle. Alarmed, she looked up to find Jason grinning at her.

"Son of a whore!" she spat and drew her free leg back to smash her boot clad foot into his nose. But the coward released her and leaped back before the hit could connect.

She leaped out the window as she heard a sickening _CRUNCH_ and Jamey's scream. It distracted her from the _squish_ she made when she landed.

Nova was waiting for her, covered in who knows what kind of muck. She grabbed Nettie's hand. "Come on, we have to run!"

And they climbed out of the dumpster and beat feet out of there.

~*~

"They were two little girls with long black hair. One of 'em had braids and the other kinda looks like him." Mal pointed at Simon. "And the boy's a dead ringer for this one." Mal nodded at Jayne.

The fruit seller shook her head. "Do you have any idea how many kids I see everyday? I can't help ya, mister."

Mal sighed disgustedly and moved on. Simon followed, but Jayne lingered behind to glare at the woman until she turned pink and ducked her head.

"I haven't seen 'em. 'M sorry."

Jayne snorted and went after the others.

"Maybe we should start asking the toy merchants next," Simon said. "Nova and Nettie like looking at the stuffed animals."

Jayne shifted his weight from side to side impatiently. He didn't want to go around asking pretty please to find his babies; he wanted to turn this marketplace upside down and shake it till the kids fell out.

He made River a promise and damn if he wasn't gonna keep it.

"Okay, why don't you do that, doc?" Mal sounded tired. "Me and Jayne'll go near the ware-"

"DADDY!"

Jayne and Simon both snapped to attention.

"DADDY!" Bursting through the crowd came Nettie and Nova, hand in hand and covered in filth.

Nettie leaped up into Jayne's arms and he hugged her close, probably squeezing the air out of her.

"Little bit, you had me worried sick!" He scowled and shook her a little. "If you wander off again, I'm gonna make sure every square inch of your ass is tanned, _dong ma_? Now where's your brother?"

"They still have him," Nova said, shakily. She faced Simon, who was crouched on the ground with her in his arms. Her big Kaylee eyes filled with tears. "The bad men. One of them, he… he touched my face and called me love-ly and-" The girl started to weep and buried her face in Simon's shirt front.

Jayne felt for his brother-in-law and the look of horror on his face no doubt resembled his own.

"Who has 'im?" Jayne demanded.

Nettie's eyes were huge. "Badger. He was mad you didn't take the job so he took us. I heard Jamey screaming! They hurt him and he was- was-" Her throat started to make a wet, clicking noise and Jayne had her on her feet and her hair pulled back when she threw up.

"Doc. Take the girls back to Serenity." Mal's voice was deceptively soft. When Jayne looked up, he saw the Captain's eyes burning with rage. "Me 'n Jayne are gonna go get Jamey back."

~*~

Since they didn't know where Badger's place was, they had to wait for Nettie to recover before she could give them any information.

So it was that Mal lead the way in and outdrew one of the men, putting a bullet hole neatly between his eyes.

"Well, then. Now that I have you attention, how 'bout you fine gentlemen give us the boy and we'll be on our merry?" Mal sounded jovial but it was clear he meant business.

"Captain Reynolds!" That _hundan_ Badger was sweating. Good. "I was just about to wave you!"

"Looks like I saved ya the trouble. Where's the boy?"

Badger laughed nervously. "I don't know what you're-"

Jayne pointed his gun at him. "I ain't playin' here, Badger."

Swallowing, Badger gestured to the door behind him. "In there."

Jayne had his hand on the knob when he noticed the horsey looking man cowering in the corner. Some goon. Jayne stalked over to the bastard and towered over him.

"Jason, is it?"

The guy nodded nervously.

"I heard about you. Ya like little girls, huh?"

Jason turned pale.

"Probably like little girls more than punchin' little boys in the face."

With a yelp, Jason made as if to run, but moving swiftly Jayne caught him and snapped his neck. He turned away disinterestedly as the body fell to the ground and he opened the door.

Jamey lay still in the middle of the room. Fear clutched at Jayne's insides as he hurried to his son.

"C'mon boy, be okay," Jayne whispered fervently. As if in response to his wish, Jamey's chest rose and fell with a breath. "Thank you. Oh, thank you…"

"Papadaddy?"

The endearment kicked Jayne in the gut and brought sudden tears to his eyes. His boy hadn't called him Papadaddy in… how many years? Eight? Nine?

"'M here, Baby J." Jayne smoothed a hand over the boy's unruly curls. "You hurt?"

" _Hundan_ broke my arm." His voice was so damn weak. "Hurts."

For the first time, Jayne noticed Jamey's arm was grotesquely out of place. Damn, that had to hurt like hell. He felt a bizarre surge of pride for the fact that Jamey wasn't crying.

"Let's get you home. Your ma's worried." Jayne scooped the boy up but unavoidably jostled his arm. Jamey made a strangled sound and passed out.

Clenching his teeth, Jayne stomped from the room and carefully handed Jamey over to Mal. Once he was certain the boy was safe, Jayne spun and slammed Badger against the wall.

"I didn't do it!" Badger yelped. "Cleve broke the boy's arm and Reynolds shot him! We're square!"

"The hell we are," Jayne snarled and slammed Badger against the wall again. "You got 'em inta this situation and you owe us."

"Anything! I'll give you anything!" Badger was shaking.

"We'll take your gorram job."

"Jayne!"

"Shut up, Mal. And you can wipe that smirk off yer face, ya pissant. We're takin' the job but you're payin' us triple!"

Badger's jaw dropped. "There's no way-"

Again, Jayne slammed Badger into the wall. " _Triple!_ And after we pick up the goods tomorrow, I want that to be the last I ever see yer ugly face. If I so much as get a glimpse of that stupid hat 'o yers, I'm aimin' at it with my best gun. _Dong ma_??"

Badger nodded frantically and Jayne released him with a shove. He gathered Jamey up in his arms and stormed out of the building.

Mal watched Badger as he shakenly lowered himself into a chair.

"You got off pretty light. Be glad that it was Jayne that found ya and not the mother."

~*~

Nettie was curled up under the covers, clean and in her nightie, hugging Schneebly to her chest. She could hear her watch ticking and Nova sniffling in her room next door.

Daddy had brought Jamey home a few hours ago. Aunt Kaylee had taken one look at Jamey's poor arm and burst into tears. Uncle Simon had rushed him to the med bay before Nettie could see if her big brother was okay.

Enough time had passed. Maybe she could check up on him. Nettie threw her covers off and squeezing Schneebly, she tiptoed from her room.

Mommy had ordered her to rest after all the excitement but all she could do was worry. Was Jamey okay? Was he scared? Was he mad at her for getting them all kidnapped? If she hadn't been so bratty and drag-assy, none of this would've happened.

When she got to the med bay, she saw Daddy in a chair next to The Big Chair Uncle Simon had placed Jamey on earlier. Mommy was in Daddy's lap. They were all asleep.

Nettie walked softly to her brother's side. He was fast asleep, face pale and his arm in a sling.

"Jamey?" Nettie whispered. "Are you dying?"

"Don't wake him."

With a jump, Nettie turned to find Mommy watching her.

"Is Jamey okay?"

"Yes, he'll be fine. His arm has been badly broken and it will take time to heal."

"He saved me."

"Yes, he did. He was very brave."

 

Nettie sighed and hung her head. "It was all my fault. If I'd kept up with the others, then we never-"

"No. Don't think that." Mommy reached out a hand and Nettie came close so she could stroke her hair. "This wasn't your fault. Fault lies with the men who did this. And they're gone now."

Relaxing, Nettie turned to watch Jamey sleep. He looked so young. Almost her age.

"Why don't you say goodnight to your brother and go to bed, my Nettie? You've had a long day."

Nettie gave Mommy a watery smile then went to Jamey's side and kissed his cheek, something he'd never have allowed had he been awake.

"Goodnight, Jamey. Thanks for saving me. I wish there was a way to pay you back." A sudden idea brought a smile to her face. "Mommy, you're all going back to the market tomorrow, right?"

~*~

The next day, Jamey was helping Aunt Kaylee in the engine room, mostly just handing her tools since there wasn't much else he could do one-handed. Aunt Kaylee kept fussin' over him and while he protested about it, it still felt kinda nice.

Pop stormed into the room and thrust a box into his hands. "Here. This is fer you."

"What is it?"

"Just open it 'n find out."

Aunt Kaylee had to help him and once they had the lid off, the little black kitten popped up and meowed in greeting.

"It's you!" Jamey exclaimed, scooping the kitten up with his good arm.

"Mew," the kitten confirmed.

Jamey looked up at Pop in surprise. "But I thought you didn't like cats?"

"I still don't. You keep that thing fed and out o' my face, _dong ma_?" Pop folded his arms, trying his best to look crabby but it was clear that he thought the kitten sitting in the middle of Jamey's palm was cute.

"Yeah, sure. But why…?"

"You should go find yer sister and thank 'er. She just wasted half her allowance on that thing." Pop turned to go but threw over his shoulder, "Yer a good boy, Jamey."

A big grin spread across Jamey's face and Aunt Kaylee giggled.

"So," Jamey said to the kitten. "What am I gonna name ya?"


	4. Tell Me What You See

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when Jayne is away.

 

**Nettie is 4**

 

Daddy would be home soon. Nettie was quivering with excitement as she skipped outside, a large roll of paper under one arm and her basket of paints in the other. Every time Daddy came home for The Summer Visit, which ended with all of them going to the stars, Nettie would have a picture ready for him. He would praise it and kiss her and let her hang it on his bunk wall.

 

She decided this time to paint all of them in the garden. Big Daddy with his funny little ears, Pretty Mommy in her yellow dress that was Nettie’s favorite, Smart Jamey with his messy hair, and Little Nettie. She added butterfly wings to her painted self because it was _her_ picture and Daddy would like it no matter what.

 

Now came the best part. Nettie abandoned her brush and dumped the blue paint in her hands. Giggling at the texture, she smeared the sky into being.

 

But as she was dabbing at the bits where specks of white still showed, she got an itch on the back of her neck. She didn’t want to get paint in her hair and she didn’t want to roll in the dirt to get at it and accidentally take home bugs. There was really only one thing to do.

 

“Mommy!” Nettie opened the screen door with her toes. “Mommy?”

 

“In the kitchen!”

 

Mommy was stirring chocolate chip cookie batter in her special way. She clutched the bowl to her tummy and stared down in to the bowl because she liked to watch the different ingredients become one.

 

“Mommy, will you scratch my neck for me?”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because. See?” Nettie held up her hands.

 

Finally, Mommy looked at her. But her smile faded into a look of horror.

 

“No,” she whispered.

 

“But I can’t do it. I’ll get paint in my hair!”

 

Mommy dropped the bowl to the floor and it shattered. The sound scared Nettie into tears and Mommy tore from the room.

 

“Nettie!” Mommy screamed.

 

“I’m right here where you left me!” Nettie sobbed.

 

“Serenity my love, where are you?!”

 

“ _I‘m in here_!” Nettie ran after Mommy and found her searching under Nettie’s bed.

 

“Have to get out,” Mommy panted, checking Nettie’s closet. “Have to run! Can’t take me back, not now. _Not now_!”

 

Nettie continued crying. Mommy was having an “episode.” That’s what Uncle Simon called them. She’d seen Mommy have them before but never when she was alone. Daddy and Jamey could always calm her down again. Oh, if only Jamey were here! Maybe she should run down to the school and get him.

 

Mommy nearly knocked Nettie over as she barreled into Jamey’s room. “Are you in here, my love? No. No. Outside. Must be outside. Mommy’s smart girl, running away from the blue hands. Oh, _blue hands_ how did you find me?!”

 

Oh! Nettie stared down at her hands. She knew that bad men had hurt Mommy at a Cademy, whatever that was. Had they had blue hands?

 

Mommy ran outside, calling Nettie’s name.

 

 _Stop crying_ , Nettie ordered herself. She marched to the bathroom and washed her hands thoroughly. She washed until her skin was bright red and she cleaned under her fingernails until all traces of blue were gone.

 

Then she ran outside after Mommy and found her in the garden looking at Nettie’s painting.

 

“Mommy?” She paused a few steps away and held up her hands. “They’re gone, see? It’s just Nettie.”

 

Mommy looked from the paints to Nettie, chin trembling. “Oh, Serenity…” She opened her arms and after a moment’s hesitation that seemed to hurt Mommy’s feelings, she ran into them.

 

~*~

 

When Mommy went to take a nap, Nettie dug through her closet until she found her blue sheets. She set them in the middle of the floor.

 

The first thing to go was the jar of blue paint. Then her blue silk dress Aunt Kaylee got her for her last birthday. A blue pencil. A book with a blue cover. A blue t-shirt.

 

After about ten minutes, she was done and gathered the edges of the sheet together. She carried her makeshift sack outside to the firepit and tossed it inside.

 

When Daddy came home, he’d burn it all away.

 

~*~

 

That night, Nettie lay in bed, waiting to be tucked in. She felt funny, like she wanted to cry but couldn’t. Like she wanted to hug Mommy yet run far away from her. She heard Mommy close Jamey’s door but didn’t look up when she entered the room.

 

“Nettie. Why were these things in the firepit?”

 

Something plunked softly beside her on the bed. She sat up to take a look at what it was.

 

The blue sack.

 

“It’s _bad_ ,” Nettie spat and shoved it off the bed. “Take it away!”

 

Mommy blinked. “Those are nice things, Serenity Jane.”

 

“No they’re not! They’re bad and make you think _I’m_ bad! They need to go away!” A part of her was shocked that she was actually _screaming_ at Mommy but another larger part of her was cheering her on.

 

“Oh, Nettie love.” Mommy sat down on the bed and wiped the tears Nettie hadn’t realized she’d cried off of her face. “Blue isn’t bad.”

 

Nettie sniffled. “Yes it is.”

 

“No.” Mommy shook her head. “I love blue.”

 

“Not blue hands,” Nettie pointed out.

 

“No,” Mommy agreed. “But good things are blue. Paint. Sheets. Pretty dresses. Ribbons.” She leaned forward and whispered, “Would you like to know what my _favorite_ blue is?”

 

“What?” Nettie whispered back, curious.

 

Mommy smiled in that special way she had, like you were the only one in the ‘verse who mattered. “Your eyes and Daddy’s eyes.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Really really. I love you, Nettie Jane. I’m sorry I scared you.”

 

Mommy’s eyes were so sad that Nettie leaned forward and kissed her. “It’s okay. You didn’t mean to.”

 

Smiling, Mommy gently pushed Nettie back so she was laying down. “Time for Nettie girls to go to sleep.”

 

“Okay.” Nettie yawned. “Goodnight, Mommy.”

 

“Goodnight. Sweet dreams. Daddy will be home tomorrow.”

 

Nettie fell asleep with a smile on her face and dreamed of her laughing mother and blue-eyed father tossing her up into the blue, blue sky and catching her in his strong arms.


	5. Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamey's feathers get ruffled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's some teenage angst to make everyone uncomfortable. :P Lyrics to the song can be found [ here](http://www.lyrics007.com/Alanis%20Morissette%20Lyrics/Perfect%20Lyrics.html).
> 
> Another note: While I don't personally endorse the sport of hunting, I don't think the people who do it are morally reprehensible human beings. Except maybe for the people who hang out of helicopters and shoot down at caribou.

**Jamey is 13, Nettie is 9**

 

Not for the first time that day, Jamey envied Nettie. While he was tromping through the woods, gun in hands, she was sleeping peacefully back at Gramma Cobb’s house. Sure, she bitched about having to perform for everybody once she woke up but at least Nettie _liked_ singing and she at least wasn’t going to be doing any of it at this hour.

 

Why the hell was he hunting again?

 

“I think I hear somethin’ up ahead, Jayne!” Vee breathed excitedly.

 

Oh, yeah. That’s why. Jamey scowled and just barely stopped himself from grumbling.

 

For the past year, Pop had been taking Vee Washburne out shooting. It made sense, Pop was the one person on board Serenity who knew everything there was to know about guns (okay, except maybe for Ma but Pop was actually _interested_ in them) and Vee thought they were just about the best damn thing ever invented. ‘Cept maybe for iced planets.

 

At first, this arrangement hadn’t bothered him. What did he care for guns? Just a handful of boom that caused too much trouble anyhow. Give him a toolbox and an engine any day.

 

But then Pop started talking about bringing Vee along on the Cobb deer hunt and he couldn’t help but feel like his place was being usurped. So here he was at the ass crack of dawn, freezing and just about bored to death. He’d gladly go through this rather than not feel good enough for his father.

 

“Just ahead, that’s right,” Pop whispered. “See it, Jamey?” He pointed.

 

Jamey squinted. All he saw was trees and shrubs. Every muscle in Pop’s body was singing in anticipation and excitement, though. Can’t disappoint. He tried to muster up a little more enthusiasm.

 

“There, son. See it?”

 

Oh, okay. The deer just about blended in with its surroundings but he could see now that it was… relieving itself.

 

How the hell was he supposed to kill a creature when it was pinching a loaf? He pictured a deer mercenary kicking open a door and catching Jamey unawares, hitting the head. Just wasn’t a dignified way to leave this world.

 

“Yeah, I see it.” Jamey tried to keep the disgust out of his tone.

 

From next to him, he heard Vee lift her rifle. Pop reached over and gripped the barrel, making her lower the weapon. “Let’s let Jamey get this one, Vee. This is his first time back.”

 

“Awwww.” But Vee didn’t push and settled on giving Jamey her patented dirty look.

 

“Kay, Jamey. Once it comes out from behind that tree, fire!” Pop grinned and clapped Jamey on the shoulder. “You can do it, boy.”

 

_No pressure or anything._

 

Taking a deep breath, Jamey lifted the rifle and sighted the deer. It was just finishing its business and started to come out from behind the tree. Then for some inexplicable reason it paused and looked in his direction.

 

The last time Jamey had gone hunting, he had been eight years old. He hadn’t shot anything but he liked being out in the woods with Pop and Grandpa, and Uncle Mattie, and even Mattie’s boy Andy who was kind of a creep. It was all about the “male bonding” as Ma said. Something about being out in nature brought out the primal side.

 

But then that had been the year of Spots and Jamey never went hunting again. It helped that the move to Haven took away the option. Pop had to go and start talking about the hunt again and bringing Vee, _Viola Washburne_ who wasn’t even a Cobb, on this primal male bonding ritual.

 

The deer continued to stare at him, unblinking.

 

Aw, he couldn’t do this. He shifted his gun to the right of the creature and fired.

 

And promptly had a heart attack when the deer dropped to the ground

 

Pop whooped and slapped him on the back. “Yer aim’s improved, boy!”

 

“Nice one, Jamey,” Vee said grudgingly.

 

Figured he’d h it something when he wasn’t even aiming for it. Gorrammit, someone in the ‘verse had it in for him. Feeling sick, Jamey followed Pop over to the fallen animal.

 

It was still alive and in great pain as it pawed at the earth and panted.

 

The grin on Pop’s face fell. “Jamey, you-”

 

_Can’t do anything right. Screwed up. Aren’t a man._

__

 

_Have to finish it off._

 

Dizzily, Jamey dropped to his knees beside the deer. His proximity made the animal panic more and he placed a soothing hand on its satiny soft nose. Tears pricked at his eyes and he glanced at its flanks, checking for spots, but his vision was too blurry to really see.

 

“Pistol.” Jamey held his hand up and didn’t look as Pop placed one in his hand.

 

“I’m sorry.” He put the barrel to the deer’s head, squeezing his eyes shut tight.

 

And pulled the trigger.

 

He’d been eight when he and Nettie found the frightened little deer with the broken leg. It had panicked at the sight of the children and had tried to run away, crying. The sight had damn near broken his heart.

 

So he’d left the unthreatening Nettie with the deer and ran and got Ma. She brought an old blanket with her and they’d used it as a stretcher to get the deer home. It had gone docile with Nettie singing to it and scratching behind its ears.

 

When they’d got it home, Ma set up a little sick room for it in the gardening shed and then set its leg. That was when she saw it was a boy and they named him Spots for the little flecks of white on his flanks.

 

Every day, they took turns giving Spots his bottle. They’d take him for walks around the garden, pulling him along in a wagon. He had this way of nuzzling their palms that tickled and he always seemed to nod along to whatever song they were singing at the time.

 

Eventually Spots’ leg had healed and Ma had a serious talk with them about how it wasn’t right to keep wild animals away from their rightful homes. It had been rough and they’d shed more than a few tears, yelled, and tried to bargain with her before agreeing with her.

 

Still, it hurt like a son of a bitch when Ma had fired a gun into the air and the startled, betrayed Spots fled into the woods, never to be seen again.

 

All of that pain came back as Jamey rose to his feet and stared at the mess he’d made of an innocent life.

 

“James-” Pop laid a hand on his shoulder.

 

“Save it,” Jamey muttered, shaking him off.

 

“Jamey, it’s-”

 

Couldn’t he just leave him alone for two seconds?! His rage nearly choked him as he spun to face his father. He barely noticed the usually unflappable Vee take a step back.

 

“Yeah, I screwed up. I’m not man enough for your little sport, okay? I shouldn’t even have come, right? I’m out of place on this god forsaken rock, I now it!” Jamey handed Pop the pistol. “It all works out in the end, doesn’t it? When Jamey fails you, you already got someone prepped to take my place.” He nodded at Vee and she gasped. The sound made him grind his teeth but it didn’t stop him. “Since you’re gettin’ on so well with _my_ father, do you mind if we just trade? Maybe Wash wouldn’t mind a gutless son.”

 

Pop’s eyes bulged. “ _Jamey_!”

 

Jamey turned and fled.

 

~*~

 

River couldn’t sleep. She missed Jayne; his mass was warm and comforting and kept the bad dreams away. So she got up and went to the kitchen expecting to find Ma Cobb but found Nettie instead.

 

Nettie looked up from the hot chocolate she was pouring and smiled brightly. “Morning.”

 

“Good morning.” River smiled back. “You’re just in time.”

 

“Oh!” Nettie looked from the cups to River and blushed. “This isn’t for you, it’s for-”

 

“I know. He’ll be in the back yard in one minute and thirty-five seconds.”

 

“Okay.” By the time she had the mugs in her hands, River had opened the door for her. “Thanks, Mommy.”

 

River patted her daughter on the head as she passed. “Good luck.”

 

~*~

 

All he wanted to do was have a minute by himself out by the shed where he could cry all he damn well pleased and maybe upchuck. Then he could figure out what he was going to say when he saw Vee and Pop again.

 

So of course he met Nettie out in the yard.

 

“Morning, Jamey! Where’s Daddy and Vee?”

 

“Not here,” he muttered and brushed by her, slightly knocking her smaller frame. Pop was always snapping at him to stop doing that since he was so much bigger than she was. Well, Nettie was tough. Unlike Jamey.

 

“Hey, watch it! I got hot chocolate here and I nearly scalded myself!” Nettie glared at him. “One of these is for you, ingrate.”

 

Joy, more guilt. He accepted his cup with a muttered thanks and took a sip, promptly burning his tongue. Karma.

 

“So why are you back before everybody else? Did the hunting go bad?”

 

Jamey couldn’t face her and he didn’t quite trust himself to speak quite yet.

 

“Jamey?” Aw hell, why did her voice have to sound so soft? It would be easier to ignore her and go hide if she was being bratty.

 

“Do you remember Spots?”

 

~*~

 

Jayne and Vee were quiet all the way to the house. Jayne knew he should be comforting the girl but she weren’t the only one who got her feelings hurt today.

 

How long had his son been feeling like he didn’t love him enough? He was afraid to even think about it.

 

“Want some breakfast?” Jayne asked, gruffly. “Ma ain’t up yet ‘n Pa, Mattie, ‘n Andy will be busy with that deer for awhile, but I can make ya somethin’.”

 

“No.” Vee shook her head. “I’m jus’ gonna go back to bed. Sleepy.”

 

Jayne squeezed her shoulder as they approached the house and the girl sighed. “I shouldn’t’ve come.”

 

“Naw, I invited ya, it’s-”

 

“Jayne. Don’t.” Vee walked ahead and called back, “Maybe we should do this again another time.”

 

Dammit, he hated when things got all awkward. He rubbed the back of his neck and followed Vee into the house. What he needed was some coffee. Figure out what he was going to say when he saw Jamey again.

 

His bad mood lifted slightly when he found his wife in the kitchen with an already brewed pot of coffee.

 

“Babydoll, you’re an angel,” he said gratefully. But she wasn’t paying attention, instead standing at the open window, eyes glazed over.

 

“Riv?” Concerned, he forgot all about coffee.

 

“Spots was their deer,” she whispered.

 

“Huh?”

 

“Shhhh.”

 

He joined her at the window and the sounds of their children’s voices carried over to them perfectly.

 

~*~

 

“You shot _Spots_?!”

 

“ _No_! I don’t know! I just…” Jamey covered his eyes with his arm and gritted out, “It coulda been! Or his son or brother or cousin or…”

 

Nettie frowned. “Jamey, why’d you even go hunting in the first place? That’s not you.”

 

“But it’s supposed to be.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“It’s what he expects.”

 

“Who?”

 

“ _Pop_ , that’s who!”

 

For the life of her, Nettie couldn’t figure out what he was talking about. “What?”

 

Jamey dropped his arm and she could see the tears filling his eyes. It sort of frightened her; Jamey didn’t cry often and only when he hurt himself. But even then, he’d shake it off fast. These tears looked like they were in for the long haul.

 

“I look exactly like Pop, right?”

 

“Mm, kinda. Your eyes are brown, though.”

 

He rolled said brown eyes. “Yeah, but other than that.”

 

“Other than that,” she agreed. “Sure.”

 

“And I sound like him.”

 

“Yeah. But Mommy says it’s just a… affection?”

 

“An affectation. She’s right.”

 

“I don’t get it.” But she was trying to, honestly.

 

Jamey’s tears spilled. “I don’t think I do, either. He makes me feel like I’m not a Cobb, like I don’t belong. Like… like maybe if I was more like him…”

 

“If you had more in common he’d love you more?” Nettie guessed.

 

“Yeah! Well, no. I mean, I know he loves me but I disappoint him.” Jamey kicked at the dirt.

 

Nettie gasped. “That’s not true!”

 

“Then why did he invite _Vee_ to the _Cobb_ family hunt?!”

 

Oh for- Is _that_ what this was about? Nettie had half a mind to kick her brother’s sorry ass from here to their old place, a good five miles.

 

“Not everything is about you, Jamey,” Nettie snapped. “Daddy invited Vee cuz she’s part of our Serenity family and she likes shootin’. _That’s all_. It wasn’t meant to show you up.”

 

His dumbfounded expression would’ve made her laugh if it hadn’t been so pathetic. “But- but I don’t-”

 

Nettie rolled her eyes. “Know what I think? I think all this Cobb _go se_ is all in your own head. Cuz it sure ain’t comin’ from Daddy.” She turned to go inside but stopped. “You’re only half Cobb anyway. Keep in mind we’re Tams, too. Cobb Tams. We’re s’posed to be different. You don’t want to be exactly like _Andy_ do you?”

 

Smirking, she went on ahead inside. That should give him something to chew on for awhile.

 

~*~

 

Jayne and River flew to the table just before Nettie had the door open. He tried to look as if he’d been sitting there drinking his coffee and not eavesdropping, but Nettie didn’t look too fooled as she passed through the room. Gorram girl was gettin’ to be just as smart as her ma.

 

After a few minutes, Jamey came in the door. The boy was blushing uncontrollably and Jayne’s heart went out to him.

 

Discreetly, River rose from her place. “I think I’ll go check on Nettie.” She brushed a kiss over Jayne’s brow and left the father and son alone.

 

There was a long silence.

 

“I’m, uh, I’m really sorry ‘bout what happened out there,” Jamey said, shakily. He pulled off his knit cap and started worrying it between his hands. “I got stupid and said some stuff that was outta line. ‘M sorry.” He raised his eyes to Jayne’s and the merc had a strong urge to pull the boy into his lap and hug him tight.

 

“You uh, you said out there that you wasn’t man enough.” Jayne struggled to find the right words. This needed to be said and he couldn’t afford to mess it up. “That ain’t true. You’ve proven lots of times that you’re a helluva man.”

 

Jamey dropped into River’s empty chair, lowering his head in shame. “Ma once said that a man is supposed to love his family ‘n honor ‘em ‘n do everything he can do to protect ‘em. I didn’t do such a good job with that today.”

 

“Well, you got a ways to go,” Jayne admitted. “But you’re tryin’. It’s just-” He got out of his chair and knelt by Jamey’s side. “You got a fight goin’ on in here,” he tapped Jamey’s chest over the heart, “between the boy you’ve been and the man you’re gonna be. It’s a real ripsnorter and it’s gonna take some time before the man wins.”

 

Jamey looked at him and smiled. “That was almost poetical, Pop.”

 

Jayne cleared his throat. “Well, don’t go tellin’ no one. Don’t want anyone thinkin’ that uncle o’ yers been an influence on me.”

 

“Hasn’t he?” Jamey asked innocently.

 

Mock growling, Jayne tugged the boy out of his chair into a rough hug, mussing his curls. “Smartass,” he said but grinned at Jamey’s laughter.

 

They calmed and Jayne rested his chin on Jamey’s head. “So, we okay here?”

 

“Yeah,” the boy said softly.

 

“Okay.” Jayne released him and got to his feet, knees popping painfully. “What say we get breakfast goin’ and surprise your grandma?”

 

Jamey grinned. “Sure.”

 

A sudden thought made Jayne’s eyes narrow. “One more thing. Go ‘pologize to Vee right now. She comes off as a hardass but you made her feel bad today.”

 

Jamey nodded, looking guilty again. “Okay.”

 

Nettie’s head popped around the doorframe, surprising them both. “And he pushed me again! Are you gonna punish him?!”


	6. Notorious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nettie gets to go out on a job.

 

**Jamey is 11, Nettie is 7**

 

Cap lined up the children of Serenity – except little Anna – for inspection. The air was thick with tension and the adults watching from the catwalk were silent.

 

 _Don’t pick me, don’t pick me_ , Nettie prayed.

 

“As you all know, Fanty and Mingo set us up with a job,” Cap said as he walked slowly down the line. “A nice man on Greenleaf has to ship off some illegal cargo. Simple enough job. Thing is, this nice man only does business with family men like himself.” He stopped. “Which is where two o’ you come in. Once Inara comes out of her shuttle, we’re gonna choose two of you to play the part of our children. It’s gonna be hard; you’ll have to remember to call us Mommy or Daddy at all times and to-"

 

“Really, Mal. Are the theatrics necessary?” Inara had come out of her shuttle midway through the speech.

 

The kids giggled but stopped at the look Cap gave them.

 

“I’m the captain,” Cap said, as if that explained everything.

 

Inara rolled her eyes. “I already have two children in mind for this caper. Shall I tell you or would you like to continue stressing them out?” She waved her hand, indicating Nova who was nervously chewing on her fingernails.

 

Cap looked chagrined. “Okay then, tell me.” Inara whispered in his ear and he nodded. “Sounds good. All o’ you can go on and play. ‘Cept David ‘n Nettie.”

 

 _I said_ don’t _pick me_!

 

~*~

 

“There,” Inara said, running a hand over Nettie’s hair. “These curls make you look even more adorable.”

 

Nettie frowned at her reflection. Shortly after she’d been cast in the role of “Serenity Reynolds,” Inara had ordered the ice blue gown, stockings, and white leather dress shoes she was currently wearing. A part of her was fascinated by the stranger in the mirror and wanted to spin in a circle to make the dress twirl. But a larger part was still pouting over having to take part in this at all.

 

She loved Cap. So much so that playing his daughter was downright creepifying. For awhile, it had looked like she wouldn’t have to when Daddy had kicked up a fuss.

 

“Dammit Mal, she’s _my daughter_. Last time you went playin’ out in society, you nearly got your dumb ass killed. What if somethin’ happens?!”

 

“Nothing’s gonna happen, Jayne.”

 

“Something _always_ happens!”

 

Cap had gotten furious. “Not to these kids it doesn’t! Now I love every one of ‘em like my own and there is no way in hell’s half acre that I’ll let anyone so much as look at ‘em wrong. You either trust me or you don’t. And if you don’t, it’s best if you get off my ship.”

 

Daddy had backed down and now she was stuck.

 

“Everything will be fine,” Inara said, gently. “The pressure’s all on Mal tonight. All you have to do is enjoy the concert and smile for the wealthy man and his wife.”

 

Nettie nodded and did her best to look enthusiastic.

 

Inara leaned forward and whispered confidentially, “If it gets to be too much, just fake sick and I can get you out of there.”

 

That made Nettie smile for real and Inara led her from the shuttle, where they found Uncle Simon trying to tie David’s bow tie in the cargo bay, only David was making loud gagging noises.

 

“Oh, stop it,” Uncle Simon said, but sounded like he was trying not to laugh.

 

“Sorry, Diddy.” David spotted them coming down the stairs and his eyes lit up. “Hey! You two look real pretty!”

 

Nettie had been surprised at her own transformation but David’s was just plain remarkable. His black hair usually hung in his eyes but now it was slicked back neatly. His formal suit was as different from his paint spattered jumpsuits as night is from day.

 

“Why thank you, David,” Inara said with a glowing smile. “And you’re very handsome.”

 

David beamed and Uncle Simon stepped back to inspect his son. “You look like a perfect gentleman.”

 

“Well, looks can be deceiving.”

 

Uncle Simon crossed his arms.

 

“But they won’t be tonight ‘cuz I’ll be on my _best_ behavior,” David quickly added.

 

“Better be.” Cap was coming down the stairs, adjusting his cuffs. The rest of the crew followed after him, all of them curious to see their friends in formal wear. “We can’t afford to mess this up.”

 

David saluted him with a daffy grin on his face. “Aye aye, Cap’n Daddy!”

 

Nettie giggled along with the others. “I wanna call him that too!” It seemed like a handy way to get around actually referring to him as her father, making a joke out of it.

 

“Aw, lookit you two!” Aunt Kaylee cooed. “You look like Core kids!” She lifted up her vid capture. “Smile big!”

 

They both smiled and waved and then Cap helped them into the mule. The disappointment over being “chosen” started to fade as Nettie’s expectations of tonight’s concert became her chief concern. Excitement bubbled in her tummy and she swung her legs, beating her heels against the seat.

 

“Have fun, my Nettie!” Mommy called as Cap took his place behind the wheel and reached out a hand to help Inara in.

 

Nettie looked over her shoulder. “I will!” She spotted Daddy on the stairs frowning darkly. So she blew him a kiss and felt gratified by his reluctant smile and his playful scowl when Wash pretended to intercept it.

 

Then they were off with Uncle Simon calling after them, “ _Best behavior_ , David Michael!”

 

~*~

 

For once things were going well. They’d arrived at the concert hall moments before the performance began and they’d made quite an entrance in Mal’s ever so humble opinion. Inara had looked her best, David was presentable with a pretty little Nettie on his arm, and Mal thought he didn’t look too shabby either.

 

Heading for their balcony seats, Mal had noticed a distinguished older gentleman watching them and he’d matched Fanty’s description of the client, one Mr. Milo Gupty. Mal had nodded politely at the man and breathed a sigh of relief at the warm approval in the man’s eyes.

 

Now if only this show would just _end_. The singing was pretty and all but it was in a language he’d never heard before. It had been interesting for at least two songs and now he was itching to get up, find Gupty, get this deal settled, and maybe get back to the ship in time for a few hands of Tall Card before bed.

 

He tapped his fingers on the arm rest and just barely stopped himself from looking at his watch. The last time he’d looked, Inara had jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow. Hurt, too. Either she’d taken to sharpening those things every morning or Elbow Ramming was just another subject taught at the whore academy.

 

His angry thoughts smoothed over as he turned slightly to look at his family. Inara was smiling softly, her attention fully on the woman singing on stage. David kept looking all over the place, as if her were trying to memorize every detail. He’d probably have a painting started tomorrow.

 

And little Nettie had her arms folded on the balcony ledge, pillowing her head as she stared down, utterly enchanted.

 

Mal was bored but he’d stomach all this culture forced on him for his family. And for the job of course. He hastily returned his attention to the singer when Inara looked over at him quizzically.

 

~*~

 

“Now, what are three good little children like you doing in the cockpit unsupervised? Did you get permission to be on the cortex by yourselves?”

 

“Oh, get real,” Vee snapped.

 

Mr. Universe grinned and sat back in his chair, folding his arms behind his head. “Such a way to talk to your elders, Viola. And here I thought Zoe and Wash taught you better than that.”

 

Before Vee could respond, Jamey cut in. “Got any good ‘toons for us, Mr. U?”

 

“No.”

 

Jamey and Ben exchanged a disappointed look.

 

“I got _great_ ‘toons for ya. You might even want to call Wash in; there’s dinosaurs.”

 

“Ooooh.”

 

“Fighting giant apes.”

 

“Ahhh!”

 

“I see the vice president of our little cartoon club’s missing. Where’s Nettie?” Mr. Universe searched the cockpit behind the kids in an exaggerated fashion.

 

“She’s on Greenleaf with Inara ‘n Cap ‘n David. They’re at some dumb concert.” Jamey rolled his eyes.

 

“You’re just jealous you couldn’t go,” Vee pointed out.

 

“So are you!”

 

“What are you doing, Mr. Universe?” Ben asked as Mr. Universe started typing.

 

“Checking out who else bought tickets. It’s a slow night and I’m bored. Lenore’s been having… difficulties.”

 

Even Vee wisely didn’t comment on Mr. U’s robot wife.

 

Suddenly, Mr. Universe chuckled. “Oh, ho. Oh, my my my. This should be interesting.”

 

“What?” Vee asked.

 

“At this very moment, our dear Captain Reynolds is sitting in a fine concert house with none other than… _Atherton Wing_.”

 

Ben gasped and the older children’s eyes bulged.

 

“When those two see each other there’s gonna be fireworks! I better keep an eye on this.” Mr. Universe started typing away excitedly.

 

“What’s he doing here?” Jamey wondered.

 

“He’s waited a long time for revenge and I guess this is the perfect time for it,” Vee said.

 

Mr. Universe shook his head, not looking away from his screen. “He’s a banker or something on Greenleaf, he wasn’t searching for Mal. Which’ll make the confrontation that much sweeter.”

 

“Maybe we should go tell Mom,” Ben said frowning worriedly.

 

“No.” A slow grin spread across Jamey’s face.

 

Vee looked intrigued. “You got an idea?”

 

“Think so. Just hope we can pull it off. Mr. Universe, can you find out what vehicle Atherton Wing has registered?”

 

~*~

 

Nettie just had to learn that strange singer’s language. It sounded like something the fairies in Uncle Simon’s stories would speak. She was leafing through the program for information when the old gentleman approached them.

 

“Did you folks enjoy the show?” the man inquired.

 

“Oh, _yes_!” Nettie enthused. “It was magical! I’ve never had so much fun in my life.”

 

The old man laughed in surprise. “Well, it’s nice to see a youth who can appreciate the finer arts. I don’t often see children at these things. What did you think, sir?” This was directed at David.

 

Mal and Inara braced themselves for the expected off the wall David response.

 

“I found it to be a very pleasant experience,” David said in his best Uncle Simon voice which usually got him into trouble. “Could we do this again sometime soon, Father?”

 

Cap’s mouth twitched before responding. “If you mind your p’s and q’s I’ll consider it.”

 

David smiled easily, as if he didn’t notice the others were trying hard not to laugh. “And you, sir?”

 

The old man smiled but looked confused as he failed to see the joke. “I’m afraid I don’t quite share your enthusiasm. It’s my wife who enjoys these outings, Mr…?”

 

“Reynolds. David Reynolds.” David shook the man’s hand. “This is my sister Serenity and our parents Captain and Mrs. Malcolm Reynolds.”

 

“Milo Gupty.” Mr. Gupty shook everyone’s hand. “My wife Naomi likes to have little gatherings at our home after these sorts of functions, would you all be interested in attending?”

 

Cap looked at the others. “Why, we’d be pleased as punch to accept your invitation, Mr. Gupty!” He looked quietly triumphant when David’s placid expression wavered with amusement.

 

Mr. Gupty pointed across the room at a plump, sweet faced woman in a lavender gown. “That’s my wife there. Perhaps you’d like to go and introduce yourselves?”

 

“That would be lovely.” Inara placed her hands on Nettie’s and David’s shoulders. “Come along, children.”

 

“Yes, Mother,” they chorused and left Cap and Mr. Gupty to talk business.

 

~*~

 

“My Jayne?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Is something bothering you?”

 

“Nope.”

 

“Are you certain?”

 

“ _Yeah_.”

 

Beat.

 

“I only ask because you are about to clean Kate with my lotion, not your gun oil.”

 

Jayne looked down at the bottle in his hands and did a double take. “Ruttin’ hell!”

 

River sat down on the bed beside him, smiling sympathetically. “This job is worrying you.”

 

“Just don’t like the little bit out where I can’t see her is all,” Jayne muttered.

 

“No.”

 

“The hell you mean no?” Jayne sent her a look.

 

River sighed. “You always were so jealous.”

 

“What?! You think I’m jealous that Mal’s playin’ at bein’ Nettie’s daddy?”

 

“Aren’t you?”

 

“No!” Jayne scowled down at his hands for a bit. “Maybe.”

 

River rested her head on Jayne’s shoulder. “She loves the captain, yes. But you are still number one in Nettie’s heart. As you are in mine.”

 

Jayne looked at her hopefully. “Yeah?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“She tell you that?”

 

“Not in so many words. But anyone with functioning eyes can see it in the way she follows you about and smiles at you.”

 

Jayne puffed up a little. “We got the best damn li’l girl in the ‘verse, don’t we.”

 

“We do,” River giggled and looped her arms around his neck in a hug.

 

From above, there was some crashing and muffled laughter.

 

“The hell are those kids up to now?” Jayne groused.

 

River looked up at the ceiling and smiled. “Sweet revenge.”

 

~*~

 

The Guptys’ “little gathering” was anything but. Just about everyone who’d gone to the concert was there and they all milled around chatting while a few people danced to the music provided by a string quartet.

 

Mal swept his gaze across the room and relaxed when he saw the kids at the refreshment table and Inara listening politely to an old dowager.

 

“You see, Captain Reynolds, I wouldn’t normally have a need for your services,” Mr. Gupty said in a low voice. “It’s just that Robert’s our youngest and I don’t want him getting into trouble. He’s young and still has his whole life ahead of him.” The old man stared across the room at his wife and smiled softly. “A man must do all he can for his family, you understand.”

 

Mal considered the man for a moment. “I do at that.”

 

Two slightly tipsy men stumbled over to them, talking a shade too loudly. One of the men grinned brightly.

 

“Milo, old dog! Who’s this fellow here? You’ve been commandeering his attention all night and we _must_ ask him about that delectable wife of his!

 

~*~

 

She and David were the youngest people here. They’d met a snobby fifteen year old girl (“Sue Ellen Shipley but that’s _Miss_ Shipley thank you”) and her surly thirteen year old brother who had convinced them to stick to the grown ups as for socializing. At the moment, David was entertaining a group of women using his Uncle Simon voice and Nettie wandered away to the musicians. She swayed gently to the music and the cello player smiled at her.

 

“The next one’ll be faster if you want to dance,” he said with a wink. “Go and find yourself a partner, little miss.”

 

Excited, Nettie scanned the room for Cap and found him in a small group where he looked like he was getting angry.

 

Uh oh.

 

~*~

 

“I mean, if my Sadie, bless her heart, looked anything like that I wouldn’t let her out of my sight.” The slightly balding man leered at Mal. “And I’d have three times the children you do, mark my words.”

 

Gupty placed a hand on Mal’s shoulder, sensing the captain’s anger. “Albert, you’ve had too much to drink and you’re making an ass of yourself. I demand you apologize to my guest and be on your way.”

 

“Aw, Guppy! Don’t be that way!” Albert’s friend whined.

 

“I’ve got nothing to apologize for, I was simply making an observation,” Albert said as he took another drink.

 

“Well, so long as we’re making observations!” Mal exclaimed. “I observe that you’re the sorriest son of-“

 

“Captain Daddy?”

 

The men were startled by the little voice and looked down to find Nettie tugging on Mal’s sleeve.

 

“What a pretty little girl!” Albert’s friend said, holding up a glass. “A toast to the pretty little girl!”

 

Albert clinked his glass to his friend’s and the two wandered away in search of more people to share their toast.

 

“What can I do for ya, darlin’?” Mal asked.

 

“Will you dance with me?”

 

Mal smiled into her big hopeful eyes. “Of course. Then we can get gone since our business is concluded here, right Mr. Gupty?”

 

“It is. I’ll expect your crew at the warehouse, first thing.” Gupty looked down at Nettie and smiled. “It was nice meeting you, Miss Reynolds. Albert is a want wit but I do agree with him that you’re very lovely.”

 

Nettie grinned. “Thanks. Everyone says I have my daddy’s eyes!”

 

“Good thing I got blue eyes, too,” Mal muttered as Nettie tugged him to where the couples were dancing.

 

The song playing was a lively one and Mal soon forgot his annoyance as he twirled Nettie around. The little girl sure could dance. River had been teaching the kids to dance for years and all of them were pretty good. He’d been kind of surprised though when it was Lady rather than Nettie who ended up being a dance prodigy.

 

Someone tapped him on the shoulder. “Excuse me, do you mind if I cut in?”

 

Mal frowned and turned to face the speaker. “Matter of fact I do mind." Out of all the people in the ‘verse it could’ve been, he sure as hell hadn’t been expecting this one. “Hullo, Ath.”

 

“Captain Reynolds.” Atherton Wing cut a quick glance at Nettie. “And who might this be?”

 

“My daughter, Serenity.” Not taking his eyes off the other man, Mal said, “Go find your ma and brother, darlin’.”

 

Nettie looked troubled. “But Cap-“

 

“Go on, now.”

 

The girl did as she was told.

 

“You got my attention. Whaddya plan on doin’ about it?” Mal kept his tone light. He hoped the others were together and heading back to the ship.

 

“I apologize, Captain, are you in a hurry? It’s just that I wish to savor this moment. I’ve been looking forward to it for such a long time, you see.”

 

“Fancy meeting you here. Thought you were on Persephone.”

 

Atherton’s cool mask started to crack. “You know perfectly well I couldn’t stay there. Not after you made me a laughing stock.”

 

“Oh, don’t let me take all the credit. You were a big part of making you a laughing stock.” Mal smiled sweetly.

 

This was apparently too much for Atherton and the man pulled out a gun and stuck it into Mal’s belly.

 

“My dueling days are over, Ath. I don’t mean to shatter your revenge fantasy and all,” Mal said through gritted teeth.

 

“This is no duel.” Atherton’s smile was cruel. “Now turn around and march outside.”

 

“I’d rather you shoot me now in front of all these fine people,” Mal said, knowing he’d never do it.

 

Atherton waved his hand and Mal looked just in time to see two men leading a struggling Nettie and David away. His blood ran cold.

 

“Now,” Atherton said, sounding smug. “After you, Captain.”

 

~*~

Along with dance, the children of Serenity had been taught self defense. Nettie and David now struggled and used every move they knew. David was able to get loose once and managed to free Nettie but by the time he’d accomplished all this, the first man had recovered from the head butt David had given him.

 

Outside, they still tried to get away but met with no success.

 

When Cap joined them soon after, they were hopeful of rescue until they saw Atherton Wing and his gun.

 

“Who is that?” David whispered.

 

“Atherton Wing,” Nettie answered.

 

David’s eyes grew as big as dinner plates. “The sword guy?!”

 

“Quiet!” Atherton snapped at them. “Where’s their mother?”

 

“We didn’t see her,” one of the men admitted.

 

“Well, go find her!”

 

“But you need two people to watch these kids,” the other man complained. “They’re all wriggly-like!”

 

“The first one of you who so much as wiggles your little finger gets your brother or sister shot, _dong ma_?” Atherton scowled at the children and they stopped struggling. “Now go,” Atherton ordered his man.

 

“What exactly is the plan here, Ath?” Cap asked.

 

“I plan to murder you while your family looks on helplessly,” Atherton growled.

 

“And then?”

 

Atherton looked thrown. “What do you mean _and then_?”

 

“After you kill me, then what happens?” Mal looked over his shoulder. “Or is me being dead the whole plan?”

 

The look on Atherton’s face was answer enough.

 

“That’s so lame,” Nettie said, quietly.

 

“I know.” David sounded disappointed. “He’s had over ten years to plan this out and this is _it_?”

 

“Shut up!” Atherton hissed.

 

“You gotta admit they have a point,” Mal said shrugging. “Your plan ain’t all that creative.”

 

“I don’t care about creativity! I just want you dead and that bitch wife of yours suffering!”

 

“Well then, this is a shiny plan. Right, kids?”

 

“Right,” they said looking skeptical.

 

Suddenly, the man holding Nettie and David jerked and hit the ground with a groan.

 

“Drop the gun, Atherton,” Inara said, flashing a much larger gun she’d just pistol whipped the man on the ground with. “And you should know that Milo Gupty has called the law. They should be here any minute.”

 

Glaring at her, Atherton dropped his weapon which Mal picked up.

 

“Looks like you made a good life here,” Mal said. “Too bad you had to screw it up for yourself. Again.” He beckoned to the kids. “Come on, get in the mule.”

 

Atherton’s other man had just dashed outside when the others were getting away and fired a few shots after them, missing them entirely.

 

“Come on!” Atherton cried. He and his partner jumped into their vehicle and turned the key.

 

The engine made a noise of complaint and failed to start. In the distance, sirens were wailing.

 

“Why isn’t it working?!” Atherton slapped the dashboard. “Work, damn you!”

 

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you have sugar in your gas tank,” his partner said tentatively.

 

Atherton Wing fumed and he tightened his fingers around the steering wheel as the sirens got closer.

 

~*~

 

Jayne and Simon abandoned their card game as Mal steered the mule on board the ship.

 

“How’d it go?” Simon called.

 

“Great!” Mal said, hopping out and helping Inara down. “We all gotta be up early to get the cargo stowed.”

 

“Diddy, Atherton Wing tried to kill us!” David exclaimed.

 

Jayne turned purple. “What?!” He snatched Nettie out of the mule and clutched her protectively to his side. “You said you wasn’t gonna let anything happen to her!”

 

“And nothing did until you decided to start smotherin’ her,” Mal said, looking annoyed.

 

“Can’t breathe,” Nettie grunted.

 

Jayne quickly loosened his hold, mumbling an apology.

 

“Are you all right?” Simon asked worriedly, searching his son’s face for any sign of pain or injury.

 

David nodded. “Uh huh. I had fun.”

 

Mal snorted. “You should’ve seen him, Doc. The second he opened his mouth, I thought we’d brought the wrong Tam. Damn near bust my ribs tryin’ not to laugh. ‘ _I found it to be a very pleasant performance_.’”

 

Everyone laughed as they headed for the mess, Simon trailing behind protesting, “I don’t really sound like that!”

 

~*~

 

“I always thought that black market beagles were a joke,” Lady Washburne said, bemused.

 

Kaylee shrugged as she bustled around the stove. “S’pose anything can get illegal if it causes enough bother for folks.”

 

“ _Beagles_?” Lady raised an eyebrow.

 

Suddenly, a symphony of howls drifted into the room and everyone clapped their hands over their ears. Jamey had to get up and shut the doors to block out most of the sound.

 

Kaylee sighed in satisfaction. “Now I can bake cookies for our little actor and actress in peace.” She reached for a jar and pulled the lid off. “Huh.”

 

“What?” David looked up from his sketch, concerned over his treat.

 

“I coulda sworn we had more sugar than this. We have enough for cookies,” she reassured her son, “but I know we had a lot more than this.”

 

She looked around the table at the blank faces of the children, noticing that Ben, Jamey, and Vee were looking extra innocent.

 

“I don’t wanna know,” she said, turning back to her preparations.

 


	7. Bad Moon Rising

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So, are we heroes?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lines from this were written by Joss Whedon and did not come from my mind at all. You'll know which ones when you see them. Also, I quote from The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien. The song title is the eerie Rasputina cover rather than the cheery sounding CCR original.

**Jamey is 14, Nettie is 10**

 

“The hero’s journey,” Shepherd Book began, “is a common narrative device that dates back long, long ago to Earth-That-Was. Can any of you tell me a little about the hero’s journey?”

 

Vee raised her hand. “There’s always lots of fighting!”

 

There were smatterings of giggles here and there, except from Nova who heaved an exasperated sigh.

 

Shepherd Book smiled. “Yes, the hero faces many adversities as a rule. Does anyone have anything else they’d like to add?”

 

Nova waved her arm in the air.

 

“Yes, Nova.”

 

“The hero faces adversities-”

 

“I already said that!” Vee exclaimed.

 

“He faces adversities,” Nova repeated loudly, “and learns about himself in the process. By the end of the story, he’s supposed to have changed as a person.”

 

“Very good.” Shepherd Book picked up a stack of books from the table in front of him. “Jamey, will you please pass these out for me?”

 

Jamey stood up from his wooden desk and went to the shepherd’s side. “What are they?”

 

“They’re what I’m expecting you to read for the next few weeks. By next Monday, I want Anna to have read the first chapter, the green group to have the first two chapters read, and the blue group to have read the first five.”

 

Nettie had been daydreaming all through this but snapped out of her daze when Jamey dropped one of the books onto her desk with excessive force. He frowned warningly at her and moved on to Ben.

 

She liked school and everything, but she wasn’t as good at it as Jamey or Nova. She wasn’t stupid, she just didn’t have the concentration for it. It took her forever to finish a book; her mind would wander or a turn of phrase would capture her interest and she’d get distracted from the story at hand.

 

Nettie picked up the book and read the title dubiously. _The Hobbit_. What the hell was a hobbit?

 

“I think you’ll like this one,” Shepherd Book said to all of them, but his eye was on Nettie. “It’s about a little hero-”

 

“As little as me?” Anna interrupted.

 

“Yes. And there’s a group of thieves and a dragon’s treasure.”

 

Everyone started chattering in excitement.

 

Nettie flipped open the book to the introduction and started to read when something in the corner of her eye caught her attention.

 

“What’s that?” Anna had seen it too, and was pointing out at the sky beyond their school tent.

 

“It’s a ship. Is Cap coming back again so soon?” Nova asked.

 

The kids all jumped up and left the tent to investigate, Shepherd Book following after them with his hand on Lady’s back.

 

“That looks like Alliance,” Jamey said nervously.

 

Nettie’s heart started pounding double time. Had they found Mommy and were now looking for her and her brother as well? Maybe Cap had taken the wrong job and the Alliance had caught wind of his hiding place. Or maybe they were just dropping off supplies?

 

That last wishful thought shattered when she turned to Shepherd Book and saw the dread in his eyes.

 

~*~

 

Zoe pointed at the map on the screen. “This is us, see? And there’s Miranda. All along here, this dead space, is Reaver territory.”

 

Jayne stiffened. Sure, he wanted to know why this planet no one had heard of was eating at his wife’s brain pan, but Reavers…

 

“They just float out there, sending out raiding parties,” Wash said.

 

“Maybe a hundred ships. And more every year.” Zoe gave Mal a significant look. “You go through that you’re signing up to be a banquet.”

 

Quietly, River’s hand slipped into Jayne’s and he gave it a reassuring squeeze, though he was just as uneasy as everyone else.

 

“I’m on board with the run and hide scenario – and we are just about…” Wash looked from the monitors to the view outside the window. “Wait,” he breathed.

 

Outside, Haven was burning.

 

Jayne rocked back as if he’d been punched and clutched River’s hand tighter.

 

~*~

 

“JAMES! SERENITY!”

 

Bodies were everywhere. Bodies of friends, of the people he’d laughed with and shared meals with. People he’d liked and respected. Jayne refused to believe that his children were among them.

 

He knew he should check the perimeter, make sure that any purple bellies lurking about got put down but the panic took over his body and all he could do was run around, bellowing for his son and daughter. Everyone else seemed to have the same idea and as if from miles away, he could hear the others calling for their children.

 

“ _Doc, it’s the shepherd! Come quick_!” Mal’s voice filtered in and Jayne realized he was in the mess tent looking pointlessly under a table. He could see Simon a few feet away.

 

“DAVID! NOVA! ANNABELLE!”

 

Jayne grabbed his brother-in-law’s arm and started tugging him towards the direction he’d heard their captain’s voice.

 

“Let go of me, I have to find my children!” Simon cried.

 

“We’ll look for ‘em in a sec, the shepherd needs ya. Come on!”

 

But when they reached the spot near the cannon where Mal held Book’s hand, it was too late. Bless the Doc, he still knelt down to check for sure.

 

Zoe and Wash ran up next and looked stricken by what they saw.

 

“He told me where the kids are,” Mal said quietly.

 

~*~

 

“Why did you dig a hole in your floor?” Anna looked up at Shepherd Book with troubled eyes.

 

“Yeah, and how did we manage not to see it all these years?” Vee peered down into the narrow little passage the shepherd had revealed to them.

 

“There isn’t much time; get inside.”

 

Jamey leaped down first and helped Nettie in. “What’s happening?”

 

“They’re looking for Mal. It’s best that they don’t find you.” Shepherd Book gently pushed David who hopped in without further prompting. He grasped Lady’s arm and directed the rest of his instructions to her. “You all keep quiet once you’re in there, do you hear me? No matter what.”

 

Jamey’s initial confusion and alarm shifted to nauseated fear. Book wouldn’t be joining them. Unconsciously, he clutched Nettie to his chest.

 

Lady nodded, though she looked plenty scared herself. “Okay, shepherd.” She lowered Anna into the hole and then Nova.

 

“I have to go now, children.” Shepherd Book smiled sadly. “It’s been a real honor watching you grow up.”

 

“But I’m not grown up yet!” Anna protested, shrilly. She looked to David as if asking him to back her up on this, but all he did was pull her down into his lap.

 

Nettie shivered. “Jamey?”

 

“Shhh.” He stroked her hair with a shaky hand. “It’s going to be okay.”

 

Vee handed Ben down. “So, what? We’re all supposed to sit down here and rot while you all fight the Alliance? Is that it?”

 

Shepherd Book had turned away and was halfway to the door. But at the sound of Vee’s voice, he paused. “You can pray.”

 

Vee swallowed and dropped down among the others, lowering the door after her. Through the narrowing space, they watched the shepherd walk straight and unflinchingly out into the sunlight.

 

~*~

 

“Do you really think they’re looking for Cap?” David whispered.

 

“It’s not unheard of. You know he’s got a funny talent for findin’ trouble,” Lady answered.

 

“I don’t know.” Jamey sounded doubtful. “That last visit was weird. We didn’t see Ma hardly at all, and when we did she was…”

 

In the darkness of the hole Nettie couldn’t see anyone clearly, but she could sense her brother’s presence and found it comforting. Especially since he had to go and bring up _that_. Mommy had always scared her when she had her episodes, but this last one had been the worst. Instead of screaming and hitting out at people, spewing gibberish, she’d looked like one of her old wind-up toys after it had run out of juice. She’d barely looked at them and hardly even moved. Daddy hadn’t left her side and offered up a lame excuse for Mommy’s state that even Anna would’ve seen through.

 

From what they’d been able to gather from the adults’ murmurings, there’d been a fight, someone named Miranda, and an oaty bar. She’d never liked those things anyway; tasted like overly sweetened cardboard.

 

“She was what?” Lady asked. “I can’t recollect seeing her at all. But I did hear-”

 

“Won’t you all _please_ be quiet?!” Nova exclaimed tearfully. “Shepherd Book said“”

 

“He’s not here to see you suck up, so just save it!” Vee hissed.

 

“Viola, you’d best not be flappin’ your mouth off,” Lady warned.

 

“But you’ve seen her! She’s _always_ -”

 

The end of Vee’s complaint was cut short by gunfire and horrible screaming from above. The cannon that they’d all played around at one time or another started booming in response.

 

Nettie clapped her hands over her ears and pressed her face into Jamey’s chest, like she was trying to burrow into him and escape the sounds of carnage not that far away.

 

“Make it stop,” she moaned, not realizing what she was saying.

 

“I wish I could,” Jamey murmured into her hair. He sounded like he was crying.

 

But when silence finally fell, it was even worse than all the screaming. At least with the screaming, they knew their friends were alive.

 

~*~

 

“He said there was a trap door here,” Mal muttered.

 

The crew was all gathered in the small kitchen of the house that the shepherd had shared with the children. They watched as Mal counted out the floorboards from the door and then hunker down, picking at the floor to find the opening.

 

Everyone crowded around, hoping beyond hope that they would be the first to have found the children.

 

Mal’s scrabbling fingers finally found the hidden door and he threw it up hastily.

 

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief as the light fell on eight frightened, dirty faces. Anna automatically burst into tears.

 

“Oh baby, come to Mama,” Kaylee choked, holding her arms out.

 

David got to his feet unsteadily and shuffled to the edge of the pit, holding up the little sister he’d been cradling. Kaylee snatched her up and cuddled her close, kissing the little girl all over her face.

 

Quietly, Zoe shut the door so the destruction could remain unseen for now.

 

Jayne resisted shoving everyone aside and leaping into the hole himself as the older children passed up the littl’uns one by one. The panic screaming through his brain finally shut up when he had Nettie in his arms and his face buried in her hair, breathing in the scent of her baby shampoo.

 

“You okay?” Jayne whispered to her.

 

“The shepherd left us.” Nettie’s voice was muffled, her face pressed into Jayne’s neck.

 

Jayne rubbed her back. “I know he did. Damn smart of ‘im, makin’ this little hideaway in case everything went to hell.”

 

Jamey raised his head from River’s shoulder and looked at Jayne with such sorrowful eyes that Jayne wished the Operative was right in front of him so he could rip his sanctimonious head off his gorram shoulders and pitch it across the room. “He’s dead, isn’t he?”

 

When Jayne didn’t respond, Nettie started to sniffle. Powerless and utterly furious with the fact, Jayne held her tighter.

 

Mal cleared his throat. “Let’s get these kids back on the ship. We got a lot o’ work to do and no time to do it.”

 

Kaylee looked trouble. “But Cap’n, they can’t see what’s outside. It…”

 

“Lady, c’mere.”

 

Reluctantly, Lady pulled out of Wash’s arms and stopped in front of Mal. With a flick of his wrist, Mal had a bandana in his hand and tied it around the girl’s head. He waved his hand in front of her eyes.

 

“See my hand?”

 

“No, Cap.”

 

Mal looked at the others. “Start makin’ blindfolds. We’ll each take a kid and lead ‘em into the infirmary. Then I want you all outside for orders.”

 

Jayne wrapped his own bandana around Nettie’s head and River tore some fabric off the end of her dress for Jamey. Everyone else did much the same and then each took a child by the hand, with the exception of Kaylee, who refused to let Anna on her feet, and then Mal opened the door.

 

The smell hit the kids instantly.

 

“Is something on fire?” Nettie asked.

 

~*~

 

Cap waited until everyone had their blindfold off before speaking. It was a tight squeeze getting everyone into the infirmary but they managed it, and Cap had even grabbed some extra chairs for them to use. Now every single child looked at him in silence, no words, no more tears. Nettie didn’t think she could cry any more, maybe not for the rest of her life. However long that may be.

 

“All of you stay in here,” Cap said without preamble. He started to tick off the rest of his points on one hand. “No runnin’ out to the cargo bay to see what we’re up to, no going to the mess, no playing in the cockpit. No one is to leave this room. Are we all clear on this?”

 

“Yes, Cap,” everyone recited dully.

 

Nettie had never seen him look so hardened before. It was scary. It must’ve been scaring everyone else because no one was asking any of the questions running through her own mind. What happened? Why are they after us? What’s going to happen to all of our stuff?

 

When Cap slid the doors shut and his footsteps had faded away, Lady finally spoke up. “Jamey, you were sayin’ something about your ma. What was it?”

 

Nettie turned to look at Jamey as he leaned against one of the counters. He stood up straight once everyone’s eyes were on him.

 

“She was… somethin’ was _off_ last time we saw her. I think somethin’ happened to her. _They_ did something.” Jamey folded his arms, not looking at anyone.

 

“Who’s ‘they’?” Anna asked, looking up to David.

 

“The Alliance,” Nova said. “I heard something about Auntie River maybe killing some people. Did… did the Alliance make her do that?”

 

Nettie was offended by her cousin’s uncertain tone. “If Mommy killed anybody, of _course_ someone made her do it! She doesn’t just run around killing people, she’s not-”

 

“Not what?” Vee interrupted. “Not crazy?”

 

Embarrassed, Nettie knew she couldn’t deny anything. “She’s not crazy like _that_.”

 

“Really. Did you know that your ma once attacked your pa with a knife?”

 

Shouldn’t she be feeling more surprised than this? She certainly was surprised at having this bit of news blurted out by Vee Washburn but the image of Mommy going at Daddy… Well, sometimes she just wasn’t herself during an episode.

 

Lady gave her sister a sharp look. “Viola, I thought we had an agreement ‘bout us not repeatin’ that ever again.”

 

Nettie saw Jamey was even more surprised than she was. “You’re makin’ that up,” he accused Vee.

 

“Like hell I am!” Vee protested. “Your crazy mother has a history of attacking folk for no reason so it don’t-”

 

“That’s not true!” Ben protested. “Jayne sold Simon and River to the Alliance later on, so it ain’t like he was some innocent guy out on the -”

 

“He did _what_?!” Nettie cried. She just about had it with these stupid rumors, and clenched her fists so tight that her fingernails cut into her palms. “No he didn’t!”

 

Jamey leveled a cold stare on the Washburn kids. “Where’d you hear this _lo se_?

 

“What does this have to do with anything?!” Nova exclaimed. “Shepherd Book is dead. Our home’s destroyed. The Alliance is after us. Who gives a frilly hell if Aunt River and Uncle Jayne did whatever one hundred years ago? We should be trying to figure out what’s going on _now_!”

 

Vee glared at her. “It matters because their crazy mother,” she pointed accusingly at Nettie and Jamey, “is going to get us all killed! She’s who they’re after and they don’t care who they kill so long as they get her. We’re better off just dropping them all on some moon and finding us a new home base.”

 

A horrible silence settled on the group as Vee’s words sunk in. Already, she was looking like she wished she could take some of them back.

 

Jamey pushed off the counter and stalked over to Vee’s perch on the counter across the room. For a moment, Nettie thought he was going to smack the girl but instead he stood over her for a long moment. Then he bent down to look her in the eyes.

 

“If you _ever_ say anything like that in front of me again, I will make you sorry. That’s a solemn vow.”

 

“Me too,” Nettie added, folding her arms.

 

“Me three,” Anna said, not wanting to be left out.

 

The other Tam children glared at Vee as well, their father was also a fugitive after all, making the girl blush in shame. She glanced at her own brother and sister for support but Lady refused to look at her and Ben looked embarrassed to have any relation to her at all.

 

“Hey. You guys, this is counterproductive.” David frowned, a facial expression alien to his usually sunny features. “We’re all that’s left of Haven. We need to pull together or we ain’t gonna make it through all this.” He gave Lady a pleading look.

 

Seeing her leadership was needed, Lady nodded. “David’s right. Let’s save the finger pointing for later. We don’t want to say anything we’re just gonna regret.”

 

Nettie gave Vee one last glare before nodding along with the others.

 

“So what’s the plan then, fearless leader?” The words were sarcastic but instead of sounding combative, Vee just sounded tired.

 

Lady sighed heavily and rubbed at her eyes. “We do what Cap said and wait here ‘til we can leave.”

 

“I hope that’s soon,” Anna said, looking embarrassed. “Because I have to pee and I don’t want ya’ll watching.”

 

~*~

 

After Anna used the toilet and made sure everyone had their backs turned, there was no more discussion. Jamey finally got tired of standing and slumped down into one of the chairs Cap had brought in with them a few hours ago. Too bad they hadn’t been sent to their rooms. He could be reading a book or taking a nap. Snorting softly, he saw that Anna and Nova had managed to doze off where they sat.

 

Just then the doors opened and Uncle Simon stepped in, carrying his medical bag. “Is everyone all right?”

 

“We’re fine,” Lady answered. “What’s going on?”

 

“Are you sure?” Uncle Simon set his bag on the counter, ignoring the question. “You’ve all suffered a terrible shock. Maybe you sustained an injury and just haven’t-”

 

“Diddy.” David shifted the sleeping Anna in his lap and she blinked herself awake. “Lady asked you a question.”

 

Uncle Simon looked around at all of them. Jamey was suddenly surprised at how old he looked. Yeah, he knew his uncle was old, like, in his forties. But he’d never really looked it before. Uncle Simon wrapped an arm around Nova who had gone to stand by his side.

 

“We’re leaving now,” he said quietly. “You can all go to your rooms.”

 

No one moved.

 

“Do I have to ask you again, Dr. Tam?” Lady sounded authoritative, like she was the adult and Simon was the child.

 

“Things are… really bad,” Uncle Simon admitted.

 

“We get that much,” Jamey said, raising an eyebrow at the understatement.

 

Taking a deep breath, Uncle Simon seemed to debate with himself for a minute, like he was wondering how much he should tell them. Finally, he started to speak. “Well, the people who were holding River have found her. They placed a subliminal code in a commercial-”

 

“The oaty bar one?” Nettie asked.

 

“You hear more than we ever realize, don’t you?” Uncle Simon said, looking surprised.

 

“Little pitchers.” Anna tugged on one ear.

 

Smiling a moment, Simon returned to what he was saying. “The code set off something in River. It made her act out and it opened up a memory or something in her head. About a planet called Miranda.”

 

Nova frowned. “Miranda? I’ve never heard of it.”

 

Vee feigned shock. “There’s something you _don’t_ know?”

 

“No one’s heard of it,” Uncle Simon said, quickly to stave off an argument. “We think River knows something the Alliance doesn’t want leaking out to the public.”

 

“So we’re going there to find out what it is?” Lady prompted.

 

“Yes.” Uncle Simon nodded. “For now, though, I think you should all try to get some sleep. Mal gathered some of your things together so there should be changes of clothes and other stuff in your rooms.”

 

Jamey wasn’t entirely sure he was going to be able to sleep and he saw his own doubt reflected on the faces of the others. But they all still filed out of the room and to the dorms. He was halfway up the ladder when Nettie cried out.

 

“What?!” He looked down at her in surprise.

 

“We forgot William!” Nettie said. Her face crumbled.

 

“All the death that’s happened today and you’re worried about a gorram _cat_?” Jamey grumbled. “Nice priorities there, _mei mei_.”

 

Nettie shook her head. “I’m sad for everybody. Shepherd Book, Miss Mara, Jeb, Sanchez…” She slid her door open. “But I actually forgot about William. That makes it worse somehow.”

 

Jamey went up the ladder the rest of the way and saw a black garbage sack in the middle of the floor with stuff shoved haphazardly into it. He saw a shirt that he knew for a fact was David’s. Stepping off the ladder into his room, he slid the door shut once he was safely inside and kicked the bag across the floor so it was out of the way.

 

He fluffed his pillow and flopped down onto his bed fully clothed, even with his shoes on. It felt strange, not having William curled up on the pillow next to his head. The thought had just barely crossed his mind when the tears started coursing down his face.

 

~*~

 

She’d taken two steps down the ramp and already Nettie hated Miranda. She wished that she could’ve stayed in her room but the adults had been worried about leaving them behind in the event that Reavers, for whatever reason, had followed them. Better to stay in a group, for as the old saying goes, there’s safety in numbers.

 

Daddy had ordered Jamey to stay close to her and he was now dragging her along as she gazed around uneasily. It was way too quiet and creepifying.

 

Then they had to go and start finding bodies. At first, Jamey had covered her eyes but she’d impatiently tugged his hand away. She had a feeling they’d be seeing even more corpses from here on out and she may as well get used to it now.

 

The adults were debating over what had caused the deaths but Nettie’s eyes were on Mommy, who was starting to get upset. So she wasn’t nearly as surprised as everyone else when Mommy finally snapped and started screaming in the middle of the street, imploring God to make her a stone.

 

_Make me one too, while you’re at it_ , Nettie thought, hiding slightly behind Jamey.

 

“Let’s find the beacon,” Wash said softly.

 

It was coming from a downed Alliance Research Vessel, ripped to shreds. Nettie started to hang back but Jamey impatiently tugged her forwards. At least there weren’t any bodies here.

 

Inside, no one really seemed sure of what they were to do. Only Mommy strode forwards in determination and turned on the recording. Everyone stared in horror as the holographic image of the doctor explained that the Alliance had created Reavers. When Jamey covered her eyes as the Reavers ripped the doctor apart, Nettie didn’t shake his hand off.

 

The parents all got the kids out of there as fast as they could, all of them clearly shaken by what they’d seen. Nearly everyone was crying.

 

“Nettie?”

 

She drew her face back from where she’d had it pressed into Daddy’s stomach and faced Mommy. With a start of surprise, she realized that Mommy looked different. Even on her good days, she’d always looked a little distant and was easily distracted. But now she looked so much more aware, like having the secret of Miranda out in the open had freed something in her mind.

 

“Hi, Mommy.” Nettie wasn’t sure why she said that, but it must have been the right thing because Mommy’s face lit up.

 

“Come here, my heart,” she said, opening her arms wide.

 

Nettie ran to her and nearly bowled her over with the power of her embrace. They both started to laugh and cry and Mommy kept stroking her hair.

 

“You’re such a good girl, Serenity,” Mommy whispered. “I’ve never meant to scare you.”

 

“You don’t scare me,” Nettie lied. She blushed when Mommy gave her her _Yeah, right_ look. “This place scares me.”

 

“Me too,” Mommy agreed. “Let’s go back to the ship then.”

 

They both smiled and linked their hands together.

 

~*~

 

“A year from now, ten, they’ll swing back to the belief that they can make people better. And I do not hold to that. So no more running. I aim to misbehave.” Mal had never looked so straight and tall, so determined.

 

Jayne could see everyone else had been moved by all they’d seen and decided to speak for everyone. “Shepherd Book used to tell me: if you can’t do something smart, do something right.” He took a sip from his jar of hooch – you needed a drink after all he’d seen- and frowned a little. “But maybe we shouldn’t take the kids into-”

 

“No.” A determined voice from the doorway made them all turn. Jamey stepped inside, followed by Lady, David, Nova, Nettie, Vee, Ben, and Anna. All of them had the same determined looks on their faces as everyone at the table. “This sounds like a damn fine adventure and a good cause to boot. We’re not missing this. They involved all of us the instant that they thought attacking our home was a good idea. We’ll follow your lead, Cap.”

 

It made Jayne grin to see his son like this. He was going to be a damn fine man when he grew up if he kept along this way. One more sip of the bottle and he slid it over to his brother in law, who looked pleased with his kids as well.

 

Simon picked the bottle up. “Do we have a plan?”

 

~*~

 

Some plan. Things _never_ went smooth. Sliding through puddles of puke and still feeling a little sick, the kids unstrapped themselves from their beds, picked up the weapons they’d been given and followed the adults off the ship. Again, and even more so than before, it was too dangerous to leave them behind.

 

Nettie stuck close to Jamey and Nova as they ran into Mr. Universe’s facility. Daddy, Cap, and Zoe started discussing how all this would play out.

 

“We need to draw them til it’s done. This is the place. We’ll buy you the time.” Zoe was all business.

 

Cap nodded and waved his hand to Anna, who darted to his side and placed her little hand in his. Uncle Simon and Aunt Kaylee didn’t want her fighting, so Cap was taking her up to Mr. Universe’s head quarters.

 

“Move these crates back there for cover,” Daddy ordered, pointing with his gun, Lux. “And make sure they ain’t filled with anything goes boom.”

 

Everyone moved to do so except Ben who looked around in a panic. “Wait, Dad! Where’s Dad?!”

 

Nettie looked around and sure enough, there was no Wash. A feeling of dread curled up in the pit of her stomach. Followed by a rush of relief that her own father had made it through. It was hard to say which emotion was worse.

 

“He ain’t coming, baby,” Zoe said gently. She looked up from her gun, eyes sad.

 

This bit of news made everyone’s shoulders droop. The Washburns stared at their mother in frozen horror, Vee in particular looked disbelieving.

 

“Move the gorram crates!” Daddy growled. “Come on!”

 

They all snapped to, but Lady, Vee, and Ben took a little longer to shake off their shock and then they were hauling and stacking crates as well. It wasn’t until the horrible screaming from outside started that they stopped.

 

“Tell me you brought ‘em,” Cap said fervently, much to the kids’ confusion.

 

Grinning, Daddy held up a grenade and threw it down the hallway. Nettie breathed a little easier and noticed Nova sigh in relief as Reaver bits flew through the air.

 

But there were still more. There were always more Reavers.

 

Nettie hunkered down behind the crates with Jamey on her right and Nova on her left. She barely heard Cap and Zoe conferring, her mind boggling over the sheer number of the enemy. There was no way they were getting out of this alive. Not unless the shepherd had put in a good word for them with the Man Upstairs.

 

“Okay, Nettie?” Her brother’s tone was flat as he kept his gaze and his gun trained on the door, where any minute the Reavers would come spilling in.

 

She got set to lie but changed her mind. Why make one of her last acts in this ‘verse be lying to her brother? “My tummy hurts. I hate this.”

 

Surprisingly, he smiled. “So do I. But hey, hero’s journey, remember?”

 

Nettie looked at the gun in her hand. It looked so out of place there, like a bible in Cap’s hands or a tea cup in Daddy’s. A sudden wave of bitterness engulfed her, nearly choking her with its intensity. She shouldn’t be here. None of them should, not even Vee. They were supposed to be on Haven, having their arithmetic lesson.

 

“I don’t feel like much of a hero,” she admitted.

 

Jamey turned and looked at her, considering. “None of the real ones do, I think.”

 

She thought of those people on Miranda, who had let themselves die. All because some government abused its power in trying to control the population. All those people dead, the rest monsters. That needed to be avenged, at least recognized. Who else was going to do it?

 

“No,” Nettie agreed. “They do what they need to do.”

 

~*~

 

“Oh _no_!”

 

Anna stared in surprise at all the broken screens and computer equipment in front of her. Mr. Universe loved his equipment more than Lenore. When he saw this, he was going to have a… what was that word Daddy used when she got into Momma’s makeup? Contraption? Connection?

 

Cap had dropped her hand when he saw the broken mess but then he suddenly covered her eyes.

 

“Cap, I can’t see,” Anna complained, trying to pull his hand away.

 

“I don’t think you wanna see this, darlin’,” Cap said.

 

“See what?”

 

“Just keep your eyes covered, okay?”

 

“Where are you going?!” Panic took over. She didn’t want to be here when Mr. Universe had his contraption. Yelling scared her.

 

“Not far. Just keep your eyes covered.”

 

Cap was smart and he didn’t tell you to do things unless he had a good reason, so Anna kept her eyes covered.

 

“Mal. Guy killed me, Mal.”

 

_Mr. Universe_!

 

She dropped her hands to the sides and saw her friend curled up on the couch in Lenore’s lap, the way she curled up in Momma’s when the other kids wouldn’t let her play with them. It was safe to guess that he knew about the mess, then.

 

“He killed me with a sword. How weird is that?”

 

Anna came to stand by Cap’s side. She reached out a hand and petted Mr. Universe’s hair as he gave some instructions to where the backup generator was. Cap touched Mr. Universe, too. It suddenly occurred to her that they’d never actually met Mr. Universe in real life. It was sad that they had to meet him like this, all dead and stuff.

 

“They can never stop… the signal.” Lenore powered down, end of message.

 

“I need to get to that generator. Anna, go hide in the bedroom. Can you do that?”

 

“The bad men who did this are gonna come back, aren’t they.” She looked up at Cap, feeling like she wanted to cry.

 

“That’s what I think. Now, go on and hide. I don’t want them finding you. I’ll try to get back jackrabbit quick, okay?”

 

“Okay.” Anna nodded. She followed Cap’s pointing finger to a door across the room and ran to it.

 

The bedroom was painted red and black but she didn’t really pay much notice and crawled under the bed. Her knee hit something cool and slippery. Curious, she looked to see what it was. Ewwie. Magazines of ladies showing their boobies. Why would anyone do that? Mommy said that they weren’t really ladies if they-

 

Something in the other room clattered. The bad men. The bad men were back. She held her breath and thought herself small and invisible. _I’m not really here, I’m floating in space counting the stars, not here not here not here not here…_

 

Hey, she’d won countless games of hide and seek with her “mantra” as Shepherd Book had called it. It wasn’t going to fail her now.

 

All the same, she hoped Cap hurried with that transmission.

 

~*~

 

The battle was in full swing. So far, Jamey had shot three Reavers down and winged twelve. He’d never been good at the shooting thing. Even his trick of not aiming hadn’t helped him much.

 

Things couldn’t be any worse. Ma was in the corner screaming from all the Reaver thoughts invading her mind, Zoe got her back sliced open early on, Pop just took a hit to his bicep, and-

 

Sudden, blinding pain in his arm. He stared dumbly down at it.

 

“I been shot,” he said.

 

“Oh, Jamey!” Nova started to reach for him but fell forwards and smacked her jaw a good one on the crate, biting into her tongue. Blood spilled down her mouth.

 

Then one of the Reavers threw a knife and it got Vee right in the face. She went down screaming in fury and pain.

 

When Aunt Kaylee reached to both of the girls, she got a gazillion blowdarts in the neck for her efforts.

 

“Fall back!” Zoe screamed. “Everyone, fall back!”

 

She didn’t need to say it a third time. Anyone not injured dragged anyone having a hard time moving well behind the blast doors. Inara slapped at the controls and the blast doors closed, leaving an opening about four by four feet.

 

“That should keep ‘em out,” David said, sounding slightly hysterical. A bullet had winged off of his scalp and he was pressing his sleeve to the injury, trying to stop the bleeding.

 

Pop threw his last grenade through the opening. “Well, that might for awhile,” he said, giving David a grim smile.

 

“Can… close ‘em from outside,” Aunt Kaylee said, as the others set her down on a stack of crates.

 

Zoe shook her head. “No one’s coming back from that.” She tried to get up, failed. “How much ammo do we have?”

 

“We got three full cartridges and my swingin’…” Pop paused and looked at the girls guiltily. Even in though it was entirely inappropriate, Jamey laughed a little. “That’s all.”

 

Inara was by the lift doors, hitting the buttons. “The lift isn’t working.”

 

Nova and Uncle Simon were doing their best to attend to everyone’s wounds. Jamey hissed as Nova prodded at his arm.

 

“I think the bullet lodged into the bone,” she said, musingly.

 

“Then ya think you can stop jabbin’ at it then?!” Jamey hissed, tears stinging his eyes.

 

“I’m losin’ some feeling here,” Aunt Kaylee announced.

 

Uncle Simon went to her side and stopped her half-hearted movements. “Lie still,” he said, gently. “I’m going to give you something to counteract the-” He felt behind him as if looking for something, then his eyes widened. Standing up, he looked out the opening. “My bag!”

 

**BOOM**

 

Just like that, Uncle Simon was knocked backwards by the blast to his stomach.

 

“Daddy!” Nova cried. She dropped Jamey’s arm and ran to her father’s side. “Oh god, oh god, oh god!”

 

Inara took over the situation and started applying pressure to Uncle Simon’s wound.

 

“My bag. Need… adrenaline… and a shot of calaphar for Kaylee. I can’t… River?”

 

Ma knelt by Uncle Simon’s side, eyes wide. “No…”

 

Just then, the Reavers started coming at them again. Pop was already firing again, and Jamey lifted his own weapon along with Aunt Kaylee’s abandoned one. Nettie was on Pop’s other side, also firing. The three of them were so wrapped up in what they were doing they nearly missed the worst development yet.

 

Ma went dashing to the opening, full damn speed.

 

“River!” Pop bellowed. “Gorramit, ya moonbrain, you come back here _right now_!”

 

But she leapt through the opening. The doors started to close but just before the opening got too small, she tossed Uncle Simon’s bag through.

 

She had her arms outstretched for them when the Reavers pulled her away.

 

~*~

 

Daddy and Jamey were crying. Before Mommy ran, Nettie had looked away from the oncoming Reavers and had seen her stand up, shoulders squared. _My turn_ , she’d read on her mother’s lips. Just before dashing, she’d tipped a wink Nettie’s way.

 

It didn’t seem likely, but Mommy was going to survive. She didn’t know how she knew but that little wink had communicated a lot. She trusted her mother to make it through, a new feeling that made her giddy. So Nettie held Daddy with one arm and stroked Jamey’s back with the other as they cried manly tears. They didn’t make much sound but wiped their eyes frequently and sniffed every once in awhile.

 

She watched as Nova gave Uncle Simon and Aunt Kaylee their necessary shots and then set to work sewing up Vee’s cut face.

 

“Ow, watch it!” Vee exclaimed. “It hurts!”

 

“I’m sticking a needle through your epidermis, of course it hurts,” Nova replied matter of factly.

 

“Yeah, but you don’t gotta… Ain’t there anything for pain in that little bag?” Vee looked hopeful and then winced as Nova continued the stitching.

 

“There is. But I think it’s better to save it for the more gravely injured of our party, don’t you think?” Nova’s tone should’ve been cold but actually sounded gentle. “Besides, you don’t want everyone to think you can’t handle a little pain, do you?”

 

Vee scowled at the logic and Nettie giggled a little. But then she looked at her father and brother and sobered up.

 

Daddy took a deep breath. “You think Mal got the word out?” he asked Zoe, gruffly.

 

Zoe lay on her stomach not far away from them, holding Ben’s hand. “He got through,” she said and it looked like she believed it. “I know he got through.”

 

“Ow!”

 

“Hold still, we’re not close to done yet!”

 

“Am I at least gonna have a scar when I’m through with this?”

 

“I’m afraid so.”

 

“Shiny.”

 

The lift hummed to life and the doors opened, revealing a horribly battered Cap with a worried looking Anna dogging his heels. Nearly everyone gasped at the sight of him.

 

“It’s done,” Cap said, grimly. He looked around the room, noting a particularly important person’s absence and frowned. “Report?”

 

No one even knew how to tell him what had happened. Just when Zoe was about to respond, the blast doors opened. There, dripping with sweat and blood amongst a pile of dead Reavers was Mommy.

 

Nettie grinned. _I knew it_!

 

“That’s my girl,” Daddy whispered, sagging with relief.

 

~*~

 

In the end, the Operative let them go. It was the least he could do, all things considered. It took some time to get _Serenity_ ready for flight again, but the crew had fifteen pairs of capable hands so they were ready sooner than expected.

 

Everyone’s wounds healed with time, the outside before the inside. They all took one step towards inner wellbeing when they buried Mr. Universe, Shepherd Book, and Wash. They got to say goodbye and cry out as much of their hurt as possible. There always would be a little hurt inside, but at least with the three of them buried, they could let go of their crazy hopes that Wash would bound into the mess declaring all was shiny, or Shepherd Book would suddenly call and ask if they were completing their assignments, or Mr. Universe would send a new cartoon and perform his duties of Grand Duke of the Cartoon Club.

 

Now, it was time to go. Jamey stood in the cargo bay, staring out at the rain, waiting for Cap to return with the last of the repair equipment so he could store it away. He could distantly hear the sounds of bunk tag but he hadn’t wanted to join it. It felt silly now for some reason. Nettie, Nova, and Vee entered the room just then.

 

“Hey, Jamey,” Nettie said. “We were just talkin’.”

 

“How ‘bout that?” Jamey raised his eyebrows.

 

Rolling her eyes, Nettie continued. “We were wondering… are we heroes now?”

 

“Because we just faced a buttload of ‘versities,” Vee said.

 

“And there was a lot of fighting,” Nova added.

 

Jamey smiled at the oddly agreeable pair. It sure was weird to see them finishing each other’s thoughts instead of sniping, but it was definitely something he could get used to. “And we’ve all changed as people?”

 

Vee and Nova exchanged embarrassed looks.

 

“Well, I say hell yeah, we’re heroes,” Jamey answered, slinging an arm around Nettie’s shoulders. She seemed surprised by the gesture but grinned up at him. “At least we damn well better be or the ‘verse is even more unfair than I thought it was.”

 

Cap returned and unfortunately, the Operative was with him. All four children stiffened at the sight of him, and Nova stepped protectively in front of Vee. Cap and the Operative spoke for a few moments and then Cap turned and gestured them over.

 

“What the hell does that bastard want?” Nettie growled as they joined their captain on the ramp.

 

The Operative smiled sadly at them. “It appears as though you’re all leaving very soon.”

 

No one answered him, just looked at him distrustfully.

 

“Well. Since you’re leaving, I thought you would want this.” From his pocket, he pulled out a skinny undersized black cat.

 

“Mrow,” William greeted them.

 

Jamey cried out. “William!” He gathered his pet into his arms and squeezed William tight until he grunted. The poor cat was missing both ears and had only one eye. “Where’d you find ‘im?”

 

“On your ship, actually. He must’ve climbed aboard unnoticed. I took the liberty of nursing him back to health.”

 

William was purring loudly and didn’t even seem aware of his injuries. One more survivor of Haven’s burning, all the more miraculous since he hadn’t been hidden in some underground bunker.

 

Was he supposed to thank the man? It felt strange, somehow. _Hey, you’ve killed two of our own, but since you saved my cat – who we probably would’ve found anyway if you hadn’t swiped him – we’re square now?_

 

The Operative seemed to understand Jamey’s dilemma and nodded once slowly. He took that to mean that they could leave, so they all turned and went back to the dorms.

 

Jamey settled William on the bed and pulled William’s favorite shirt of Jamey’s around the cat, cooing. But it was manly cooing and if anyone ever mentioned it to him, he’d simply deny it ever happening. Or say he was just clearing his throat.

 

“Jamey!” Anna called.

 

He slid his door open and peered down at his little cousin. “What?”

 

“Come on, we’re just starting!”

 

After checking that William was comfortable, Jamey climbed down the ladder and joined the others (minus Ben, who was up in the cockpit, acting as the new co-pilot) in Anna’s room. He sat down on the floor next to Lady and David and looked expectantly at the girls sitting in a row on Anna’s bed.

 

“Ready?” Nettie asked. She cracked open the singed book in her hands and cleared her throat. “Chapter One: An Unexpected Party. In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit…”


	8. The Soft Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This series is almost over but I stuck this one in because after the earlier song, I didn't feel right just moving on to the next wacky adventure.

**Jamey is 15, Nettie is 11**

 

_“Arrr. Morning, Pointy.”_

__

 

_Nettie waved the toy triceratops in her hand. “Morning, Rex. Nice day, isn’t it?”_

__

 

_“Oh yes, it’s particularly lovely.” Nettie giggled at the gruff voice Wash always employed when he played Rex combined with the social niceties. “It’s made even lovelier by the fact that I got a hot brunch date with Bertha Brontosaurus in ten minutes.”_

__

 

_“Bertha Bront-” Nettie slipped out of character for a second but quickly recovered. “She’s a Triassic babe, all right.”_

__

 

_“Yeah, I want to make sure I make a good first impression with her. Do I have anything caught in my teeth?”_

__

 

_Pointy took a few steps closer. “Hmmm. Nope. You’re good to go.”_

__

 

_“Really? I had some stegosaur last night and I think I feel some in the back.”_

__

 

_“Oh okay, open up. Let’s see, nope, no steg-”_

__

 

_“ARMPH!”_

__

 

_“AHHHHHHHHHH!” Nettie covered her mouth so the next bit would be muffled. “I probably should’ve seen that coming, huh?”_

__

 

_Wash laughed and ruffled her hair. “We’ll pick up where we left off tomorrow; your mom’s gonna have a fit if she sees you out of-”_

 

Sighing, Nettie turned over in bed and stared up at the ceiling. Exactly one year ago today, Wash’s life had ended along with Shepherd Book’s. Neither of them seemed dead, especially Wash. She’d been there when they’d buried him, yes, but every inch of _Serenity_ held some memory of her former pilot. He wasn’t going to fade away any time soon.

 

There was no way she was going to get any sleep. Uncle Simon had canceled class for the day so she had no homework to do to distract herself. Homework always put her to sleep better than a glass of warm milk could ever hope to.

 

So she kicked off her covers and tiptoed out of her room, not wanting to accidentally wake anyone up.

 

With her earlier thoughts still fresh on her mind, Nettie decided to go up to the cockpit. Maybe say a little goodbye to Wash. Then she could get back to bed before Mommy sensed her and sent-

 

“Hi.”

 

She was startled to find Ben Washburne and at the helm. Then her surprise gave way to embarrassment. If _she_ couldn’t sleep tonight of all nights, of course Ben wasn’t going to be able to. He sat at the controls, wearing his dark green pajamas and gave her a half smile.

 

“Hi,” she said back. “Um, what are you doing up?” She wanted to kick herself.

 

“Couldn’t sleep.” Ben turned back to stare out at the stars. “You?”

 

“The same.” Nettie shuffled closer and took a good look at Ben. He sat there almost businesslike, which made her a little uneasy. Ben had always been what Uncle Simon called an enigma. Unlike the other kids who were prone to melodrama and hijinks, he’d always been quiet and kept to himself, the times he’d gone along with wackier plans very few. The only person who could completely draw him out of his shell had been Wash.

 

“Well, I guess you can be my co-pilot ‘til you get sleepy.” Ben cut a glance at her then stared back out into the black. “Take a seat.”

 

She stayed standing. “Ben, are you all right?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“No you aren’t.”

 

“Nettie, I’m firing you from your co-pilot position. Good luck to you in the future.” He sounded like he was only half kidding.

 

“Ben.” She reached out and touched his shoulder, making him flinch slightly. “I know what you must be-”

 

“No, you don’t,” he said flatly.

 

Nettie frowned. “I can imagine-”

 

“Yeah. Imagine. Cuz last time I checked, your dad still had a pulse.”

 

“You check my father’s pulse?”

 

Ben seemed surprised at the question and then burst out laughing. Nettie giggled along, relieved that her unintentionally funny remark had loosened him up. But she stopped once she noticed the tears spilling down his cheeks.

 

“Oh, Ben.” Nettie threw her arms around her friend and was glad when he didn’t shove her away, but held on to her as if he was drowning and she was his life preserver.

 

“He died right here,” Ben sobbed. “Rem-remember when Cap sent us outside t-to watch ‘Nara painting? I knew he was just sending us away so’s we wouldn’t see ‘em unpinning him from his seat!”

 

Nettie hadn’t realized that and felt her stomach sink. Instead of voicing this, though, she stroked Ben’s light brown hair.

 

“I didn’t even get to say goodbye. Not really. I have dreams once in awhile but they’re not real.”

 

Ben had been right; she couldn’t even begin to imagine how he was feeling. To think that she easily could have lost her own father last year. To never see Daddy again, never hear him stomping around or teasing Uncle Simon…

 

After a few moments, Ben calmed down and pulled away from her, wiping his eyes. “Thanks, um. I needed that.”

 

Nettie nodded and spotted something on the controls. “I’ll be Pointy if you be Rex.”

 

Ben looked at the toy that was frozen in mid-roar and smiled.

 

~*~

 

Half asleep, Jayne stumbled to the cockpit and found all the kids there, chatting and holding dinosaurs.

 

“You got any idea what time it is?” Jayne snapped.

 

“Late?” Anna guessed in a little voice.

 

“Damn right. You two!” He jabbed a finger at Nettie and Jamey. “Your Ma says yer bunkin’ with us tonight. She’s makin’ beds for ya on the floor. Same goes for the rest of ya.”

 

“We’re sleeping on your bunk floor?” David asked.

 

Jayne scowled. “No, smartass, your parents’. Now git movin’! If you don’t wake up on time tomorrow, Mal’s gonna have a fit and I don’t feel like hearin’ it.”

 

Before leaving, the kids lined the dinosaurs up along the controls to look out for any sign of trouble. Wash would’ve gotten a kick out of that.

 


	9. When She Loved Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _So the years went by/ I stayed the same/ But she began to drift away_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This song might not be recognizable to many, but it's from _Toy Story 2_. Shut up. It's the perfect growing up song from the point of view of an outsider. See the lyrics [ here](http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/toystory2/whenshelovedme.htm).

**Jamey is 17, Nettie is 13**

 

River was having one of her bad days and had yet to get out of bed. Worriedly, Jayne stayed by her side and stroked her hair, occasionally getting up to re-wet the washcloth for her head.

 

“There anything else I can do for ya, baby doll?” Jayne asked as he knelt by her side. It just killed him to see her like this, knowing there was no way to make it all better.

 

His wife smiled, trying to hide her pain. “I just want to get some sleep.”

 

“Okay.” He nodded.

 

She stared at him.

 

He stared back.

 

“Alone,” she clarified.

 

“Oh. Oh! Uh, I guess I’ll just…” He didn’t want her to see that she’d hurt his feelings and started to shuffle away. But she grabbed his wrist before he got far.

 

“Your worry’s too loud,” River said, softly. Apologetically. “It makes sleep difficult.”

 

Jayne nodded his understanding. “Okay, baby girl. You sleep good.”

 

“I’ll try.”

 

He kissed her forehead, then reluctantly climbed the ladder up out of their bunk and shut the door carefully so as not to make too much noise. He stood there staring at the door, worrying. And then worrying that she could hear him worrying.

 

“Hi, Daddy.”

 

“Hi, little b-” He stopped when he saw Nettie’s hand reaching for the door he’d just shut and grabbed her. “Where do ya think you’re goin’?”

 

Nettie blinked her big blue eyes at him in surprise. “To talk to Mom?”

 

“Well, she’s restin’. You can tell me what’s up.”

 

Surprisingly, Nettie blushed and shook her head. “No, it needs to be Mom.”

 

Irritation and a slight feeling of betrayal made Jayne scowl. Nettie never had a problem with talking to him before. In fact, he’d always been the parent she actively sought out if something was eating at her. Since Miranda, that all had changed. Now she spent hours talking to River, which was nice, but he couldn’t help but feel downgraded.

 

“Well, sorry that she’s too sick t’ hold yer hand. Looks like I’m all ya got.” He couldn’t believe what a bastard he was being and judging by the look on Nettie’s face, she couldn’t believe it either.

 

“Fine," she snapped, folding her arms. “I’ll just wait here ‘til she’s done resting.”

 

Jayne folded his arms, too. “Might be awhile.”

 

“I’ll wait.”

 

“Damn it, Nettie!” Jayne exploded. “Why you gotta be so gorramn _stubborn_? Why dontcha just tell me what’s wrong?!”

 

Nettie bristled, fisted hands dropping to her sides. “Because it’s _none of your business_!”

 

“Don’t you holler at me, Serenity Jane!”

 

“Then fuck off!”

 

Stunned, Jayne and Nettie stared at each other, neither of them quite believing what she’d just said. Then Nettie turned and ran, snapping Jayne out of his shock.

 

“Get back here!” he roared, running after her. “You don’t talk t’ me like that!”

 

She looked over her shoulder and saw him coming at her so she stepped up her speed, nearly colliding with Lady who jumped out of the way just in time.

 

“You see that?” Jayne boomed. “You’re a damn menace, girl!”

 

She dashed into Inara’s shuttle and squaring his jaw, Jayne followed.

 

~*~

 

Inara was having some afternoon tea while going through the messages prospective clients had left her, when the pounding sound of booted footsteps caught her attention.

 

“Nettie!” Inara stared at the girl, taking in her flushed face and eyes sparkling with unshed tears. “What’s wrong?”

 

Before the girl could respond, Jayne came barreling in and roughly grabbed Nettie by the shoulder.

 

“The hell’s the matter with you?!” he hissed, giving her a shake.

 

Pursing her lips, Inara stepped forward. “Did I give you permission to come in here?”

 

“No, you didn’t,” Jayne said grimly and gave Nettie another shake. “You ‘pologize to ‘Nara right now!”

 

“I wasn’t talking to Nettie.”

 

Jayne’s jaw dropped a moment before he recovered himself. “Now look here, ‘Nara, this is my kid and I can-”

 

“You can do whatever you want on Mal’s ship,” Inara said, firmly. “But you’re in my shuttle, and I say that you leave and Nettie stays.”

 

For a moment, Jayne looked crushed and gave Nettie a beseeching look. When she refused to look at him, his face closed off and he left without a word.

 

Inara gestured to the couch once Jayne’s heavy footfalls had faded away. “Why don’t we have a seat and you can tell me what’s on your mind?”

 

But Nettie stayed standing, staring at the shuttle door. Her features were drawn tight with pain. At first Inara thought it was a result of the fight she had with Jayne, until she noticed the girl rubbing at her lower abdomen.

 

Surprised flitted across Inara’s face before she quickly controlled it. It shouldn’t be all that surprising; Nettie was thirteen after all. It was about time. “Nettie, would you like some tea? It always helps me when I’m… out of sorts.”

 

Nettie blinked and faced Inara, as if noticing her for the first time. She smiled half-heartedly. “That’d be nice, thanks.”

 

Inara bustled about getting another tea cup as Nettie settled onto the cushions, still absently rubbing at her belly.

 

“So, what are your plans once we’re on Boros?” Inara asked as she poured the tea.

 

“I haven’t really thought about it,” Nettie admitted. “I’ve been saving up my allowance, maybe me and Nova will see a show.”

 

“That sounds like fun. Perhaps you’ll meet a nice gentleman your age there.”

 

Nettie stared down into her tea and shook her head. “I don’t think so.”

 

“Why not?” Inara asked, gently. “Do you think there’s a universal shortage of young men?”

 

Snorting softly, Nettie picked up her cup to take a sip. “No. There’s a universal shortage of young men interested in _me_.”

 

This time, Inara couldn’t hide her surprise. “What do you mean?”

 

“I’m not like you,” Nettie said, bitterly. “I’m not… I’m not beautiful.”

 

“That’s not true, Nettie.” Inara frowned. River was lovely and Jayne’s looks weren’t quite as repellant as his personality; between the two of them, they had created a gorgeous child in Nettie. “Did someone say something to you?”

 

“No,” Nettie said firmly. “I figured it out by myself.”

 

“And how did you come to this conclusion?”

 

“I watch boys whenever we’re planet side. They look at Lady and Vee mostly, sometimes at Nova. But they don’t look at me.”

 

“Maybe you’re watching the wrong ones.” Inara cupped Nettie’s chin in her hand and locked eyes with her. “You are a beautiful, intelligent, compassionate young woman, Serenity Cobb. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks as long as you know that. Do you understand me?”

 

Nettie nodded slowly. “I think so.”

 

Inara smiled warmly and ran a hand along one of Nettie’s braids. “Have you ever tried wearing your hair a different way?”

 

“No.”

 

“Here, let’s try something.” Inara patted the seat next to her and Nettie scootched over to sit there. Working swiftly and efficiently, Inara unbraided Nettie’s hair and brushed it out until it was silky and gleaming.

 

“Maybe you can buy some pretty barrettes on Boros,” Inara suggested. “You have wonderful hair, Nettie.”

 

“Thank you.” Nettie looked around. “Do you have a mirror?”

 

Inara rose from her seat and found a hand mirror for her that Nettie accepted with a warm smile of thanks.

 

Nettie stared into the mirror with a critical expression on her face. “Nice,” she finally said. “Too bad I have a flesh bindi.”

 

“A what?” Inara asked, both amused and confused.

 

Nettie grinned. “A flesh bindi. It’s what David calls a zit on your forehead.”

 

“Oh! Well, let’s see…” After rummaging in one of her trunks, Inara found a compact of concealer that was a few shades too light for her skin-tone. She’d bought it on accident not that long ago. She patted the makeup onto the trouble spot then inspected her work. “How’s that?”

 

“It’s like it was never there! Thanks, Inara.”

 

Smiling, Inara placed the compact in Nettie’s hand. “Here, you can keep this.”

 

“Thanks,” Nettie said again and looked at her reflection. “Maybe on Boros, I can shop for some lip gloss, too.”

 

“Maybe,” Inara agreed.

 

Nettie set the mirror aside with a sigh. “I’m feeling much better now. You’ve been a big help, ‘Nara.”

 

“I’m always right here if you need me,” Inara promised.

 

Nettie smiled. “That’s a relief.” She stood up and made a face. “I better go out there and face _him_.”

 

“Try not to be so hard on Jayne,” Inara said, refusing to let her amusement show. “It’s difficult being a parent and watching your child grow away from you.”

 

“How would you know? You’re not a parent.” The words were delivered with genuine curiosity, taking the bite out of them.

 

“Aren’t I?” Inara shrugged. “I feel as if I had eight children.”

 

Understanding bloomed on Nettie’s face. “I think you’re the best second mother in the ‘verse, Inara.”

 

As the girl turned to leave, she missed seeing Inara’s eyes fill with tears.

 

~*~

 

Jamey was just coming out of the mess as Nettie started to go in. He halted her with a hand to her shoulder.

 

“He was spittin’ fire not that long ago,” Jamey warned her. “Best hide for a spell or three.”

 

Nettie shook her head. “He’ll just get madder if he’s left to stew.”

 

“Well, I don’t know what you did to him, but he was livid.” Jamey tilted his head to the side. “How’s your groveling skills?”

 

“Rusty.”

 

“Well, polish ‘em up quick, you’ll need ‘em.” Jamey chucked her affectionately under her chin and loped off down the hall.

 

Daddy was sharpening Binky when she walked in. Yeah, that wasn’t disconcerting or anything.

 

“Daddy?” Nettie took a hesitant step into the room.

 

He stiffened but kept right at his work. “I went ‘n fucked off like you said. Whaddya want from me now?”

 

Tears of shame stung her eyes. “I’m sorry, Daddy.”

 

Something in her tone caught his attention and he looked at her. His stony expression shattered when he saw her tears.

 

“Aw, bit. C’mere.”

 

She ran to him and cuddled into his outstretched arms. Part of her knew she was too old for this, but the more honest part of her also knew that she’d never be too old for her father’s love.

 

“I’m sorry I was so mean,” Nettie sniffled, pressing her face into his shoulder.

 

He shushed her and petted her hair. “It’s not like I didn’t provoke ya. It woulda taken a saint not to get mad.”

 

“Yeah, but I hurt your feelings!”

 

Daddy didn’t say anything for a moment. “I think they been hurt for awhile.” Off of Nettie’s stricken look, he quickly added, “It ain’t your fault, it’s just me bein’… well…”

 

“What?”

 

Daddy cut a look across the room. “You know. You been talkin’ to yer ma so often that the two of us ain’t hardly-”

 

“You were _jealous_?” Nettie asked, incredulously.

 

“I wasn’t jealous!” Jayne barked. “Why does everybody always think that? Cuz I _ain’t_!”

 

Wisely, Nettie held back her giggles. “So, you felt replaced then?”

 

“Mebbe,” Daddy muttered.

 

Nettie patted his back. “You haven’t been replaced, Daddy. It’s just that I’m growing up and I need Mom more and more for things. Like today.” She widened her eyes significantly. “ _Girl things_.”

 

“Girl things?” Daddy repeated. He looked confused for a minute before comprehension dawned on his face. “Girl things??”

 

Nettie pressed her lower belly and made an expression of discomfort. “Uh huh.”

 

“You sure?”

 

She nodded.

 

Daddy’s face fell. “But yer so _little_!”

 

This time Nettie couldn’t hold back her laughter. “Daddy! I’m not that little anymore. You’re gonna have to get used to it.”

 

“Don’t hafta get used to nothin’,” he grumbled, looking sulky.

 

Laughing, Nettie kissed his forehead. “Poor Daddy.”

 

“Yeah, yeah.” He hugged her tight really quick before letting her go. “Well, go on and tell her, then. She’s prolly expectin’ ya.”

 

“Okay. Thanks, Daddy.”

 

On her way out, he called after her, “I like yer hair like that. Makes ya look like yer ma.”

 

Nettie grinned stupidly the rest of the way to her parents’ bunk.


	10. Send Me A Song

**Jamey is 18, Nettie is 14**

 

The war was on and Jamey found David and Vee watching it unfold with morbid fascination from the safety of the doorway.

 

“Son of a- After all we talked about, she still went ‘n did it anyway, didn’t she?!” Jamey exclaimed. When David and Vee shushed him, he lowered his voice. “How long has this been goin’ on?”

 

“About forty-five minutes,” David whispered, not taking his eyes off the combatants. “We’ve seen eye batting, pouting, tears, and bargaining.”

 

“We’re now on to-” Vee didn’t make it far before-

 

“You are being _so_ unfair!!”

 

“Screaming,” Vee and David said together.

 

Jamey groaned and held his head in his hands. “She’s brain damaged, that’s what she is.”

 

“Nettie, we’ve said no, the subject is closed!”

 

“It’s the money, isn’t it? I can get in on a scholarship, I’ve said this a million times!”

 

“It ain’t the money, as _we’ve_ said a _billion_ times!”

 

“Oh, don’t even talk to me, you… you _backstabber_!”

 

“ _Backstabber_??”

 

“You said you’d talk to her about this and now you’re on _her_ side!”

 

“So now _I’m_ the bad guy?”

 

“Jayne, I hope you aren’t implying that I’m a villain.”

 

“No, baby girl, I just mean-”

 

“That he was on my side before you brainwashed him!”

 

“Nettie-”

 

“No! Look, I don’t ask you for much. Why is that when I ask or this one thing you tell me no?!”

 

“Because you’re too young.”

 

“Lady gets to go to her dance school!”

 

“She’s older than you!”

 

“By four years! That’s NOTHING!”

 

“Nettie, stop screaming this instant!”

 

“I will once you stop being unfair!”

 

“Well, I guess we’re all humped then.”

 

“Jayne!”

 

“Little bit, you’re too young t’ go off to some fancy artsy school all by your lonesome. We want you here with yer family.”

 

“For how long?”

 

A silence fell. The voyeurs in the hall exchanged uneasy looks. They almost preferred Nettie’s shrill ranting over this weary, defeated tone she was now using.

 

“Net-”

 

“For how long, father?”

 

Jamey hissed. That formal title had to sting the man who cherished being called “Daddy.”

 

“For the rest of my life? You want me to stay on this rusting bucket until I die, don’t you?”

 

“Nettie-”

 

“Forget it, I’m done. I won’t bring this up again.”

 

“Come on, now…”

 

The eavesdroppers scuttled into the shadows as Nettie appeared in the mess hall door. Her face was blank and glistening with tear tracks as she passed them on her way out.

 

Jamey’s heart gave a painful twinge. If only she hadn’t gotten so impatient, they could’ve turned their parents around. Now his little sister’s dreams were shattered.

 

He took a deep breath and went for the door.

 

“What are you doing?” Vee hissed.

 

“I’m going in.”

 

“You’re crazy!” David squeaked.

 

Jamey nodded. “Must be.”

 

~*~

 

Jayne couldn’t have felt more like a horse’s ass even if that had been his goal in the first place. The little bit had been right, he’d promised to back her up on the school thing. But River had gotten so upset… A man shouldn’t have to choose between his two best girls.

 

He cast a look in River’s direction and saw she was hunched over her lap, staring at her hands. He had no idea what to say but he opened his mouth to say it anyway.

 

Jamey saved him by entering the room.

 

“That musta been some fight,” Jamey said, casually. “You got Vee and David out there absolutely entranced.”

 

From the direction of the door came an indignant squawk followed by a loud shush.

 

“I was on the cortex the other day,” Jamey continued, going to the cupboards to rummage for a snack. “I looked up that school Nettie wants to go to so bad.”

 

“Jamey,” Jayne said warningly, looking to River. She hadn’t moved.

 

“Didja know that half the Londinium Philharmonic attended classes there? Half. That’s impressive, dontcha think?” Jamey settled on some protein snaps and dropped into the chair next to River. “There’s even this ‘verse renowned guitar virtuoso who went there. Donates money every year and even has a whole wing named after ‘im.”

 

“Yeah, that’s nice,” Jayne said. “But-”

 

“Also of note,” Jamey said as if Jayne never spoke. His eyes were entirely on River. “No student ever went missing or reported abuse of any kind. It didn’t even make a blip with some of the underground characters I had investigate.”

 

Jayne’s jaw dropped and River finally looked up.

 

“But,” Jayne sputtered, “that don’t come cheap, son, how’d you-?”

 

“I owe a lot of people some favors,” Jamey said, still looking at River. “The school’s privately owned by a nice old man and it’s been in his family for generations. The Alliance has nothing to do with it.”

 

Jamey reached out a hand and placed it on his mother’s knee. “They won’t do ta her what got done to you when you went away to school, Ma. I promise. Lady’s gonna be in the same city at that dance school and she swore to wave me the second she can’t get in to visit Nettie. Please, Ma. She really wants this.”

 

River hung her head and Jayne knew Nettie was as good as enrolled. And while he was pleased for his daughter, he couldn’t help the stomach sinking feeling he got just thinking of her gone.

 

~*~

 

“Jamey! They said I can go!”

 

Jamey dropped his wrench and slid out from under the engine. He grinned at the flushed look of happiness on his sister’s face.

 

“That’s great! I wonder what changed their minds?”

 

Nettie rolled her eyes and dropped down on the floor next to him. “I know it was you, goofus. Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome. So what all do you gotta do now?”

 

“Uncle Simon has to send them my grades,” Nettie said, apprehension starting to creep into her tone. “Then I send them a demo disc of me singing, then I take the entrance exam. I have to apply for a scholarship, too, and that’ll be an essay I have to write.”

 

“I’m sure you’ll do fine,” Jamey said encouragingly.

 

“No, I won’t.” Nettie slumped against his side, head on his shoulder. “You know how I am about school stuff, I just can’t concentrate on it.” She sighed. “I was so excited about the singing part, I forgot all about the school part.”

 

Jamey wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “I’ll help ya study, Nettie.”

 

She sat up immediately. “You will?!”

 

“Uh huh. We can start tomorrow if you want.”

 

Squealing, Nettie clapped her hands. “This is so shiny! I’m gonna go tell Nova and Vee!”

 

As she ran excitedly from the engine room, Jamey chuckled to himself. That girl was happy now, but she was gonna be singing a different tune soon enough.

 

~*~

 

In the months that followed, Nettie worked harder than she ever had before in her short life.

 

Uncle Simon gave her extra homework for practice, she spent an hour before dinner and an hour after dinner studying with Jamey each night, Mommy gave her extra lessons on the weekends, Nova randomly quizzed her every morning, Daddy was teaching her self defense (“You’re gonna be livin’ in the city without any of us ‘n a pretty li’l morsel like you’s gonna need to know how to fight off anyone who gets fresh.”), and in her free time, she spent every minute in the shower room recording her best songs.

 

Everyone was expecting her to crack under the heavy workload but she never so much as complained.

 

~*~

 

The day the test arrived, Simon set up a desk in the infirmary and served as proctor. He pretended not to notice everyone outside acting as if they had important business to attend to in the common room.

 

Simon looked at his watch. “And… go.”

 

Nettie broke the seal on the booklet and went to work.

 

~*~

 

“Money don’t just show up regular in my pocket every day, Kaylee,” Mal grumbled.

 

Kaylee sighed. “We need the part, Cap’n. Either you got less change janglin’ in your pocket or Serenity explodes the next time we try ta break atmo.”

 

Mal winced. “Okay, fine, buy it.”

 

Across the space station, the postmaster waved at him. “Mal! You got post!”

 

He and Kaylee froze. A few feet away, Mal saw River and Jayne had heard as well.

 

“Whaddya think?” Mal muttered as they made their way through the crush of humanity. “It’s been six weeks.”

 

“Seven, actually,” Kaylee said.

 

When they reached the postmaster, he handed Mal a white envelope. “It’s not actually for you, but one of the Cobb kids.”

 

Sure enough, the envelope was addressed to Ms. Serenity Cobb.

 

River and Jayne quickly found Nettie, who’d been admiring stuffed animals with Nova and Anna. The two sisters tagged along, curious what the letter would say.

 

Everyone held their breath as Mal handed Nettie the envelope. She tore the flap open and pulled out the sheet of paper, scanning its contents.

 

“Well?” Jayne said.

 

Nettie’s face crumbled and she ran away in tears.

 

“Oh no.” Kaylee pressed a hand to her mouth, eyes wide in horror.

 

Nova balled up her fists. “But she worked so hard!”

 

Without looking at one another, the whole group ran after Nettie.

 

~*~

 

“Come on, Pete,” Jamey said, wheedling. “Kaylee’ll be back with the money in just a few minutes. Cantcha just set the part aside until then?”

 

Pete shrugged. “Dunno, Jamey. What kind o’ businessman would I be if I had the chance to sell a product to a customer who has the money? I can’t wait around all day for Reynolds to pry open his wallet.”

 

Jamey sighed. “What do I have to do?”

 

A grin spread on Pete’s face. “My oldest girl’s taken a shine to ya, ‘n I was wonderin’ if-”

 

“I could take her out and show her a good time?”

 

“If ya can stay away from her,” Pete said, flatly.

 

“Deal.”

 

“JAMEY! JAMEY!!”

 

Before Jamey could turn around completely, Nettie launched herself at him, looking like a squirrel clinging to a tree. Her shoulders shook with the force of her sobbing.

 

“What is it?” Jamey exclaimed, stumbling under the added weight.

 

She shoved the paper crumpled in her fist into his face. “I’m in! They let me in!!

 

Jamey whooped and spun them around a few times. “That’s excellent!”

 

“I never could’ve done it without you!” she hiccupped. “I love you so much!!”

 

Just then, the others reached them, out of breath.

 

“Little bit,” Pop said, “we can try again next year, it’s-”

 

Jamey handed the paper to Pop. His lips moved as he read the letter. “But… she got in!”

 

“She got in!” Anna shouted, leaping into the air.

 

Everyone chattered in excitement and patted Nettie on the back. Even Pete offered up his congratulations.

 

Pop still looked confused. “She got in. Why’s she cryin’?”

 

~*~

 

“Wow, I bet it takes six years to clean this place,” Kaylee said, looking up at the gigantic building in front of them. A banner was strung over the double doors reading, WELCOME NEW STUDENTS AND FAMILIES TO ORIENTATION DAY!

 

Excited butterflies fluttered in Nettie’s stomach at the sight. But then she dropped her gaze to the people she’d be leaving. Her family.

 

“I guess… this is goodbye,” Nettie said softly.

 

Vee stepped forward and lightly socked her in the arm. “You show those Core girls up, you hear?”

 

Nettie grinned. “I will.”

 

Next, Lady gave her shoulder a squeeze. “I’ll just be three blocks away if you ever need anything, Nettie.”

 

“I know.” Nettie nodded, glad of the fact.

 

Zoe gave her a big hug. “Be brave, little one.”

 

“I’ll try.”

 

Ben also gave her a hug and whispered, “I put Pointy in your bag.”

 

Nettie giggled and whispered, “Thanks,” back.

 

Inara hugged her tightly, trying hard not to cry. “I know you’ll do well, sweetheart. Good luck.”

 

“Thanks, ‘Nara. I’ll miss you.”

 

Anna was openly weeping when she hugged Nettie. “I don’t want ya ta go but I’m happy you’re happy.”

 

Nettie laughed and stroked her cousin’s strawberry blonde curls. “Well, thanks, little cousin. Be good, okay?”

 

“Be sure to sit in the same seat everyday so your teachers learn your name faster,” Uncle Simon said. “And take notes on everything, even if it doesn’t seem imp-”

 

She silenced him with a hug. “I’ll miss you too, Uncle Simon.”

 

Aunt Kaylee’s sad eyes nearly crumbled her brave act. “You be sure to write to us any chance you get, dong ma?”

 

It took Nettie an extra second to let her go. “Okay, Aunt Kaylee. I love you.”

 

Nova didn’t say anything, just cried and kissed her on both cheeks. Tears were already pricking at Nettie’s eyes and she found that she didn’t have any words for her best friend, so she kissed her back.

 

“Be careful out there, Nettie-bird,” Cap said, softly. “We mighta kept you a little too safe on the ship.”

 

Nettie squeezed the hand he offered her, not trusting herself to speak. She nodded at him and twined her fingers with his for a moment before letting him go.

 

Her tears finally fell when she stopped in front of Jamey. “I’ve never been away from you before,” she said, unable to look away from his face. “It hurts already.”

 

“Nettie…”

 

She stood up on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. “Please change your mind and apply to school around here?” She wasn’t too hopeful and wasn’t surprised when he shook his head.

 

“Sing good, mei mei.”

 

“I will. I’ll send you a song every week.”

 

“I’d like that.”

 

They hugged tightly for several moments, neither of them willing to be the first to let go.

 

“My Nettie,” Mommy said, gently. “It’s time for us to go.”

 

Brother and sister clutched each other tightly in response but then reluctantly parted.

 

“Goodbye,” she said to the group at large, though she was looking at Jamey.

 

“’Bye,” they all said back.

 

Then walking between her parents, Nettie entered her new school for the first time.


	11. The Gentleman Who Fell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Probably the worst day of Jayne's life.

**Jamey is 21, Nettie is 17**

 

Jayne looked at the envelope curiously as he walked back to Nettie’s room. Another letter from that ex-boyfriend of hers, Julian. He’d kind of liked the kid when he first met him – a scholarship kid like Nettie, a little older than his daughter – but he wished the little louse would take a hint. She weren’t interested no more.

 

Thinking she was still out roaming the space station, he slid her door open, intending to leave the letter on her dresser.

 

So he was horribly shocked to find her in her underwear, straddling Ben Washburne’s lap as she kissed him like he was gonna disappear on her any minute.

 

He’d never been struck dumb before but there was a first time for everything. Dropping the letter, he backed out the doorway and slammed the door shut. Then he beat hasty retreat, wondering when the hell this little development had first occurred and if his genius wife could invent some kind of brain bleach.

 

~*~

 

At the crashing sound, Nettie tore her mouth from Ben’s, panting heavily. “What was that?”

 

Ben’s hands slid along her sides and he shrugged. “Dunno.”

 

His callused fingertips made her shiver but she gently pushed him away. “It was probably Nova. I think she knows about us.”

 

“She does?” Unconcerned, Ben quirked an eyebrow and made a grab for her, but she hopped off his lap, giggling.

 

“Well, she _does_ live next door, you know.” Nettie stood there a moment, admiring his shirtless golden chest before mentally shaking herself and heading for the door.

 

If Nova knew about them, she’d never so much as hinted at it in the six weeks since she and Ben had started up. Of course, Nova wasn’t the coy, teasing type and was probably taking her cue from them by keeping silent with her knowledge.

 

Sliding the door open, Nettie smiled to herself. She still couldn’t believe that she’d made the first move and literally jumped him. After a year at the music academy, she’d come home and realized how beautiful Ben was and wondered how she never could’ve noticed before. But she’d had Julian and wasn’t about to string along two boys; it wasn’t right. It wasn’t until she’d dumped Julian in March that she’d started planning her seduction. It’d been a great plan, too.

 

But Ben shot it all to hell by wearing those white tank tops of his.

 

Nettie found no one in the hall, but there was a letter on the floor. She picked it up and groaned when she saw the return address.

 

“Give it up, already,” she mumbled, tossing the envelope onto her dresser and scrambling back onto the bed. “Now, where were we?”

 

“Getting dressed before someone comes looking for us,” Ben reminded her, while helping arrange her back into the position they’d been in before.

 

“Hmmm. That plan’s worse than the ones Cap comes up with.”

 

“It was your plan, pretty girl.” He found the secret spot on her neck that made her melt and she fell against him.

 

Nettie purred and nuzzled his cheek. “I never claimed t’ be the brains of the operation.”

 

Ben kissed her gently in that way that made her feel like spun glass, then pulled back. “We probably should get dressed, though. Cap’s gonna need me to fly this ship outta here pretty soon.”

 

“Aww, you’re so important!” Nettie cooed and tickled his side. He laughingly batted her hands away. “My big damn hero pilot.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me up, songbird.”

 

Sighing, she slid out of his lap and climbed under her covers to lay down, forcing him to stand up and search for the clothes that had been scattered around the room in their haste and excitement over having the ship to themselves for awhile.

 

“I get so bored when you’re not around,” Nettie admitted, quietly. Ben looked up from sliding up his boxers and she blushed. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do when I’m back in school.”

 

The look in Ben’s eyes let her know that he knew what she really meant. “Well, I always wanted a pen pal. In the meantime, you got that letter over there to entertain ya before you can see me again.”

 

“It’s from Julian,” she said disdainfully.

 

Ben paused for the slightest moment in climbing into his jumpsuit, then continued. His tone was light as he said, “Well, he _is_ your boyfriend.”

 

Just like that, Nettie’s post-Ben afterglow was gone. “What do you mean?”

 

He frowned, confused by her tone. “Whaddya mean what do I mean?”

 

“I don’t know what I’ve done in the space of five seconds to get you so tetchy you’d say something like that!”

 

Ben’s jaw dropped. “So Julian isn’t your boyfriend?”

 

“No!” Nettie sat up, shielding her barely covered breasts with her blanket. “I announced it my first day back, don’t act like you don’t know!”

 

“I didn’t know!” Ben held out a hand as if to placate her. “I must’ve been in the cockpit, I’m sorry.”

 

Nettie felt sick. “So… all t his time you’ve been with me, you thought I was with Julian?”

 

“Uhh…”

 

“Oh my god.” Nettie’s eyes flashed blue flame. “You think I’d actually do something like that?!”

 

“Nettie-”

 

“You think I’m just some slut who spreads her legs for anyone, don’t you? You… you…!”

 

Ben threw his arms up in the air. “What do ya want me to say, Nettie? I apologized! Can’t we just-”

 

“I think you’ve said enough. You need to leave now.” Nettie found she couldn’t look at him, and picked at some of the loose threads in her bedding.

 

“Nettie-”

 

“Please?” She hated how weak she sounded but it got him out the door so she could have a good cry.

 

~*~

 

River was jolted out of her nap by Jayne loudly slamming their bunk door shut.

 

“Babydoll, you ‘wake?”

 

“It would appear to be so,” River slurred sleepily and sat up, rubbing at her eyes. She was ready to deliver a few sharp words but stopped when she saw the stricken look on her husband’s face. “What is it?”

 

“It’s Nettie,” he said, shakily.

 

She kicked the covers off and leapt out of bed. “Is she hurt? Does she-”

 

“ _She’s sexin’ Ben_!”

 

River stared at him in disbelief. “Is that it?”

 

“ _Is that it_? Our daughter’s havin’ sex and you stand there like it aint’ a big deal, like you knowed it all… the…” He frowned. “Time.”

 

“She didn’t want you to know,” River said, gently. “She knew you’d just get upset.”

 

Jayne dropped to the bed. “The two o’ you kept this from me?” What he needed right now was a gorramn time machine to take him back to when he was still in the loop when it came to his children’s lives. He’d been effectively shut out of Jamey’s some time ago, but he thought he had more time with Nettie. “You knew about her ‘n Ben?”

 

“Well, no, I didn’t know about Ben, but-”

 

“There’s been _others_?!”

 

“Just Julian!” River exclaimed.

 

“That’s still too many! She’s too young t’ be doin’… stuff.”

 

“ _Zhang fu_ , I was her age when you started to notice me,” River pointed out.

 

“Yeah, but I kept it in my pant’s till you was old enough,” Jayne snarled. “I’m gonna _kill_ that little pissant!”

 

“He’s young as well,” River said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Calm down.”

 

Jayne hung his head, suddenly tired. “Why’s she gotta go ‘n do it, huh?”

 

“Sexual intercourse is a natural drive, Jayne, it’s neither healthy nor wise to sup-”

 

“I don’t mean that. Well, I guess I do a little. But I mean.. whey’s she gotta keep growin’ up? Why can’t she stay little so’s I can keep ‘er safe from everything? It’s bad enough I got Jamey t’ worry about, why’s the little bit gotta start…”

 

River sighed and sat down next to him, cuddling into his side. “It’s a conspiracy meant to make you miserable.”

 

“That’s what it feels like sometimes,” Jayne said glumly.

 

“Would it make you feel better if you killed Ben?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Well, too bad. If you killed him, Zoe would kill _you_ and I’ve grown to like having you around.”

 

That brought a smile to Jayne’s face and he pulled her closer. “The things I do for you, woman.”

 

~*~

 

Mal couldn’t figure out why the atmosphere at the table was so tense. There hadn’t been any yellin’ all day from what he heard, and no whisperin’ about any secret fights. He wanted right then to get to the bottom of it but had no idea how to start.

 

He noticed that Nettie was quieter than usual, but that was understandable since she’d gotten another letter from that ex of hers. Mal never liked that kid much anyway…

 

Dinner conversation was light; Lady was telling a funny story about the director of her dance troupe. Then all hell broke loose.

 

“Hey, Jayne, couldja pass the salt, please?” Ben asked.

 

“ _Why dontcha just take it like you take everything else_?!”

 

Everyone froze.

 

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” Ben asked, looking as bewildered as every other person at the table. Except for River, interestingly, who was glaring nastily at her worse half.

 

“Yes, Jayne, enlighten us,” Zoe said tightly. “What exactly are you accusing my son of?”

 

Jayne pointed his fork at Ben. “That little sumbitch’s been defilin’ my daughter!”

 

“Oh my god!” Nettie looked mortified.

 

Jamey pushed his plate away. “And there goes my appetite. Thanks, Pop.”

 

“Defiling?” Ben repeated incredulously.

 

“Dontcha think you’re overreacting Jayne?” Kaylee asked. “I’m sure Ben isn’t-”

 

“I seen ‘im at it!” Jayne bellowed. “Why donthca go find some other floozy ‘n leave my daughter alone?!”

 

“ _Other_ floozy?” Nettie’s embarrassment gave way to rage. “Did I miss something? Is this ‘Call Nettie A Whore’ day?!”

 

Jayne turned purple. “Who’s been callin’ you a whore?!” He pointed at Ben, who was looking mighty miserable, not that Mal blamed him. “This ‘un?”

 

“And you did, just now,” Nettie said coldly. “Don’t worry about Ben _defiling_ me, it’s over now.”

 

Jayne rounded on Ben. “Oh, so my little girl ain’t good enough fer ya, is that it?!”

 

River grabbed his bicep and gave it a warning squeeze. “Jayne, stop it right now!”

 

“It isn’t like that!” Ben protested.

 

“Then what’s it like?” Jayne sneered.

 

“It’s not all seedy like you’re makin’ it sound! I’m in love with your daughter!”

 

The murmurings going on along the table all through the argument died abruptly at Ben’s words. The normally private young man making such a public declaration knocked everyone for a loop.

 

Jayne didn’t seem to have much to say to that. He clearly hadn’t been expecting it and seemed a little disappointed that he couldn’t yell anymore.

 

Nettie broke the silence. “You are?”

 

Her tentative tone seemed to make Ben aware of his audience and he awkwardly cleared his throat. “Yes.”

 

She took a deep, shaky breath. “For how long?”

 

“Since I was twelve.”

 

“Tw- _twelve_?”

 

“That night in the cockpit, remember? A year aft-”

 

“Yes, I remember.”

 

Jayne found his voice. “You’ve been sexin’ her since you were _twelve_?”

 

River socked him in the arm. Hard.

 

“Ow!”

 

Nettie stood up. “I’m full.”

 

Ben, Jamey, and Jayne got up to follow her, but River gripped her son gently and her husband not so gently. “This is between them.”

 

Mal looked around at his stunned crew, feeling like he needed to step in and say the captainy thing. “Well. Who’s got a shocking confession to go with dessert?”

 

~*~

 

“Nettie!”

 

She stopped in her tracks and dropped her head into her hands. “I’m way too overwhelmed to talk right now, Ben.”

 

“So when would be a good time? When Jayne stops being all shocked and decides to kill me anyways?”

 

“Maybe?” She turned to face him, hating the distressed look on his face, and hating herself for feeling bad for him. “I just don’t understand how one second I’m a whore and the next you’re in love with me.”

 

“Will ya stop usin’ that word? I never said you were a whore!”

 

“No. But you made me feel like one.”

 

Ben swore softly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

 

“Why did you sleep with me if you thought I was with Julian?” Nettie asked, trying to keep her voice from shaking. “I can’t figure it out. It just doesn’t sound like you.”

 

“I didn’t really think about it,” Ben admitted. “I was just happy to have you any way that I could. And maybe I thought I could win you away from him.”

 

Nettie took issue with being referred to as if she was some prize in a little boy pissing contest but decided not to snap at him about it. He looked as if he felt bad enough. She doubted he really meant it that way, anyway.

 

She sighed, feeling exhausted. “So, what now?”

 

Ben stared into her eyes. “That’s up to you.”

 

“Well, I don’t know either!” Nettie snapped. “You’ve dropped so much on me and I don’t… I don’t…”

 

“Don’t what?”

 

“I don’t know how this works.” She motioned to herself and him. “I loved Julian but I guess not the way he wanted me to. And other than…” she blushed and Ben nodded his understanding that she was referring to her crush on Cap. “I don’t know how.”

 

Ben took a step closer, smiling gently. “I’m not all that experienced either, songbird.” He reached out a hand and traced her cheek with the backs of his fingers. “If you want, we can start again and go slow.”

 

“Slow is good,” Nettie whispered, feeling her knees turn to pudding under his attention.

 

“Uh huh,” he agreed, leaning closer, his mouth millimeters from her own.

 

“That don’t look slow to me.”

 

They broke apart and turned to see Anna, David, and Vee in the mess doorway. All three were grinning, but David arranged his features into mock ferocity and pointed aggressively at Ben.

 

“If you hurt my cousin again, I’ll kill ya, Washburne!”

 

“And I’ll find a nice spot t’ bury ya.” Anna giggled, nudging her big brother with her elbow so David smirked at her.

 

“And I’ll kill ya twice,” Vee said.

 

“Hey! You’re my big sister, aintcha s’posed t’ be on _my_ side?” Ben looked like he couldn’t decide whether to be offended or amused.

 

Vee raised an eyebrow. “Where’s that writ?”

 

“How ‘bout you move the panel discussion outta the hallway?” Cap called in his sarcastic “great idea” voice.

 

Ben took Nettie’s hand. “Come on, I’ll walk ya to yer dorm.”

 

~*~

 

Nettie didn’t invite Ben inside and he didn’t ask. Both of them knew they’d rushed into this way too fast and they were all for slowing down.

 

But before she let Ben leave, Nettie ripped up Julian’s letter, unread, right before his delighted eyes.


	12. The Ballad of Serenity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is The Ballad of Serenity but the song I was thinking of for this one is actually Escape Key's "Mal's Song" which any self-respecting Browncoat should be familiar with.

**Jamey is 22, Nettie is 18**

 

The auditorium was crowded and not for the first time, Jayne was glad they had reserved seats close to the exit doors. Also not for the first time, he cursed the fact that his little bit was graduating from a music school. And that twenty graduates were given the chance to perform for all the proud mamas and papas.

 

A pretty little redhead named Winnie finished her flute solo and Jayne only joined in the applause because she was a friend of Nettie’s.

 

The cheery-looking old headmaster came back out onstage, clapping his hands. Jayne was amazed that the old codger still had the same level of enthusiasm he’d started with two hours ago. He himself was about ready to run screaming from the room, if it weren’t for his trick knee.

 

“And now, our final presentation. This young woman is one of our most well-loved and talented students. Here to grace us with an original song is our very own Ms. Serenity Cobb!”

 

“Nettie!” Kaylee squealed as they all cheered.

 

“’Bout damn time,” Jayne grumbled.

 

“Hey, it could be worse,” Jamey said. “All the seniors coulda done something.”

 

Jayne groaned. “We’d be here a year.”

 

Then the curtains drew back and shocked gasps filled the auditorium.

 

~*~

 

Mal didn’t think he was seeing this rightly. This was… out of the ordinary. Judging by the buzzing all around him, his eyes hadn’t turned traitor.

 

That was indeed his Nettie-bird up on stage in full Independent gear: brown coat, chain mail, red vest and all. Her pretty hair was pulled back in a simple braid and she had a guitar slung across her front.

 

“Hello,” she greeted them. “I know this is a little unexpected but please bear with me.” She cleared her throat and continued. “This song was inspired by a very important man in my life. An Independent by the name of Malcolm Reynolds. Without him, my parents never would’ve met and I wouldn’t be standing here in front of you fine people tonight.” She tested a few notes on the guitar. “I had some help with this song, so credit goes to James Cobb; David, Nova, and Annabelle Tam; and Lady, Viola, and Benjamin Washburne.”

 

Then she started to play, telling his gorramn life story. Amazed, he turned to look at the others and saw the kids already watching him with shining eyes.

 

Anna, sitting right next to him, leaned her head on his shoulder. “Thanks for letting us grow up on your ship, Captain Daddy.”

 

He didn’t realize he was crying until Simon handed him his handkerchief.

 

_So take my love, take my land, take me where I cannot stand/ I don’t care, I’m still free/ You can’t take the sky from me_

 

~*~

 

Nettie was wrapped up tightly in Jayne’s arms when Mal approached the proud parents.

 

“Didja see her?” Jayne nearly squealed. “My little bit’s a high school graduate!”

 

“I mighta caught wind o’ that,” Mal said, smiling slightly.

 

River was beaming proudly herself. “You were wonderful, my Nettie.”

 

“Thank you, Mommy,” Nettie said, starting to tear up.

 

Jamey kissed his sister’s head then affectionately ruffled her hair. “You did good, kiddo.”

 

Mal waited a few minutes until her family was done fawning over her before they were able to walk away to a more private spot. At least, a spot that didn’t have any of the Serenity crew nearby to eavesdrop.

 

“I hope I didn’t embarrass you,” Nettie said, sounding a little nervous. “I know a lot of those things were private.”

 

“Oh no, it made for a good tune.” He paused. “But didja have to include that ‘married and tricked’ part?”

 

She giggled. “That was Vee’s idea.”

 

“Remind me t’ dock her pay.”

 

“Aww, Cap.” But she was smiling. “We just wanted a fitting tribute for you. _I_ wanted that.” She reached out and took his hand in her own smooth, smaller one. “I have so much to thank you for.”

 

Mal shrugged uncomfortably. “I couldn’t put yer ma and uncle off the ship back in the day. It didn’t sit right.”

 

“Not just for that,” she said, softly. “But for being so kind to me when Jamey told everyone about my crush on you.”

 

“Oh.” Mal’s mind started to whirl. He’d told her that day that once she was grown and still wanted him… He swallowed thickly.

 

“I was so humiliated.” Nettie blushed at the memory. “But you made me feel so much better.” She laughed a little. “I think I fell for you a little harder that day. Ever since, I’ve used you as a standard for how I judge men.”

 

“That’s…” Mal nodded, not knowing what to say.

 

Her smile turned sad. “But I think I’m ready to let you go now. You’ve been a wonderful first crush.” She stood up on her tiptoes and gave him a soft, brief kiss that had him trying to follow her before he realized what he was doing.

 

“Thank you, Mal.” Her eyes glittered with unshed tears.

 

“Pleasure was mine, darlin’.” He squeezed her arm. “Now that you’re all grown, you don’t be a stranger now.”

 

“I won’t,” she promised, wiping at the tears that spilled down her cheeks. “My boyfriend flies your ship, after all.”

 

“There is that,” Mal agreed. He held out his arm to her. “Why don’t we go and find that boy o’ yours? I heard your pa sayin’ somethin’ about dinner, his treat.”

 

Grinning, Nettie took his arm and the two of them strode to where the others were. Watching the brilliant smile that spread across her face at the sight of her parents’ proud faces, Mal was doubly glad that he’d picked the old Firefly class in that shipyard so many years ago.

 


	13. Across the Universe (Epilogue)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the end end. While I love The Beatles singing "Across the Universe," for my purposes I'm thinking of the Fiona Apple version.

**Jamey is 24, Nettie is 20**

 

It had been the better part of a year since Nettie had been on _Serenity_. She dropped her bag and stood in the cargo bay for a moment, feeling as if she’d never left. There was the mule Cap would load them into to go get ice cream. The stairs they’d run up and down until Zoe ordered them to stop before someone fell and broke their neck. The wide, open space Mom taught them to dance in, while Daddy hid not so well in the doorway to their bedrooms to watch her.

 

“I’m home!” Nettie called.

 

Silence.

 

She frowned. “Hello? Daddy? Cap?”

 

Hefting up her bag, Nettie climbed the stairs up to the cockpit, grumbling. She hadn’t exactly been expecting trumpets to sound upon her arrival, but a simple greeting would’ve been nice.

 

She found her family gathered in the cockpit, around the cortex. Her parents, Cap, Jamey and the new Mrs. Cobb, Ben, Aunt Kaylee, Uncle Simon, Vee, Anna, and Inara.

 

“What’s going on?”

 

Every head swiveled her way. “ _Shh_!!”

 

“Nice to see you, too,” Nettie said, taken aback.

 

Ben smiled welcomingly and patted his lap. “C’mere, songbird. It’s almost on.”

 

Nettie shoved her bag into Jamey’s arms and settled into her boyfriend’s lap. She cuddled into his chest, breathing in his scent. It’d been entirely too long since she’d last seen him.

 

“What’s almost on?” she asked.

 

“Turn it up, here it comes!” Daddy said anxiously.

 

The screen went black until a bright golden light appeared.

 

“Wait.” Nettie narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

 

“ _Shh_!!”

 

Onscreen, Nettie watched as a girl dressed in a pale blue sundress and big boots was revealed in the light, the source of which turned out to be a firefly.

 

The girl watched the insect, entranced, and followed it as it led her through what appeared to be a cargo bay, up a flight of stairs, and into the cockpit. All the while, gentle violin music played.

 

“ _Wo de ma_.” Nettie covered her face. She missed the camera zooming in on the stars shining outside, then pulling back to reveal the Firefly class shuttle glow, the engines at full burn. The music swelled as a voice familiar to them all sang, “Cowboy take me away, closer to you.”

 

“Serenity Jayne’s Songs From a Firefly: on sale Tuesday!” the announcer stage-whispered.

 

Everyone in the cockpit cheered.

 

“That was your first commercial, bit!” Daddy said, beaming. “You looked all pretty dressed up like your Ma!”

 

Nettie hid her face in Ben’s chest. “How’d you all even know this was gonna be _on_?”

 

“That manager o’ yours told us,” Cap said, then looked thoughtful. “Glad I let ‘em film that here. It looked really good.”

 

Jamey poked her shoulder. “Don’t act like you don’t love the attention, mei mei.”

 

She giggled despite herself and swatted at his hand.

 

“Oh!” Kaylee exclaimed. “Nova’s gonna be here any minute, I better go to the bay ‘n wait on her.” Her smile turned watery. “Can’t believe my little girl’s gonna be a doctor.”

 

As Kaylee bustled out of the room, Nettie asked, “What about David and Lady, when are we expecting them?”

 

“They’re gonna be a little late,” Zoe said. “David’s got a new commission and he wanted to spend a little time on it before coming out with us.”

 

“Then all the wide-eyed wanderers ‘ll be back,” Cap said. “Out in the black for however long it takes ‘fore they wanna be grounded again.”

 

Nettie smiled at how hard he was trying not to sound sad. It wasn’t fair for a captain to watch his second generation crew outgrow him and leave his ship.

 

“Well,” she said gently, “We’re home for now. That’s all that matters.”

 

“Damn straight,” Daddy agreed. He rubbed his hands together eagerly. “Now there’s a big welcome home cake in the mess just waitin’ on me to carve it up.”

 

“Cake?!” Nettie brightened.

 

“Yeah, it’s your favorite,” Jamey said. “Yellow chocolate chip with chocolate icing.” A wicked grin crossed his face. “An’ I’m gettin’ the first piece!”

 

“Huh uh!” Nettie leaped up as Jamey made a break for the door.

 

As they went clattering down the hall, hooting and shouting at each other, it was like the years hadn’t passed at all and they were the children they’d always been. The others looked on and didn't see a soon-to-be universally known singer who had just recorded her first album and a married engineer; they saw a little girl in braids and a young boy who was all flailing limbs.

 

THE END

 

_Sounds of laughter shades of life_  
_are ringing through my open ears_  
_exciting and inviting me_  
_Limitless undying love which_  
_shines around me like a million suns  
_It calls me on and on across the universe__

_Jai guru deva om  
_Nothing's gonna change my world  
__


End file.
